Lust
by Bara-shoku megane
Summary: Dejected from his secret love for Akihiko, Hiroki uses his desires as an escape until he goes to a therapist who is willing to help. Will these desires ever subside? Egoist AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all! If you have clicked this, then is it safe for me to assume that you were curious to read this, or just accidentally did it. In any case, I wanted to explain the title of this story. It's not a complicated one, I was just thinking about how Halloween was coming up, which got me thinking of scary stories and then I thought about hell and made the connection to sins. Eureka!**

**I started writing plots down and that's how this story came to be. I am quite the fan of the classic protagonist who gives up on love. So, I went ahead and wrote this. I have other plots for the other sins written down already, but this is the first one I came up with. Well, I hope you like it.**

DISCLAIMER FOR WHOLE STORY: I DONT OWN JUNJOU ROMANTICA

The night sky was dark, a new moon outside which only further accented the darkness that hovered over the city. Even for a big city like Tokyo, it was still fairly quiet. Perhaps the moon made people feel as though they were not safe, and in turn decided not to leave the comfort of their own homes. Few places were open, as it was still a business day and the working class was still either working or at home sleeping in order to wake up and repeat the cyclical rut they had gone through everyday working such jobs. Of the places that were open, one of them was a small bar.

Inside of the drinking house, people sat on stools and drank from different styles of glasses. Men and women alike chatted with each other, some complaining about work while others just seemed to want some company. On the far end of the bar, one man sat alone, swirling an ice sphere in a drink he knew well enough was much too strong for him but he felt as though he could use a strong drink right now. Some people appeared not to have realized he was there, and therefore did not approach him. He continued to sip his drink, gesturing to the bartender to come over to pour him more while he kept putting money down on the counter. Every now and again, he would glance over at the man and woman, the woman clearly flirting with him when she gave a forced giggle to the joke he would make, and he would laugh drunkenly. It almost made him physically sick to watch and listen to such drabbles. "Get a room you two." He growled.

Deciding to ignore the people around him, he looked at the rest of his surroundings. The wall of liquor held many different kinds, scotch as well as brandy and a few other drinks used specifically for drinking games or mixed drinks. While he allowed his eyes to stare and his mind to wander, he was pulled out of such daydreams by another person who approached him.

"Do you come here often?" The man asked, smiling innocently at the brown haired man who finished another glass and then looked over at him with an interested frown. He assumed the other man was trying to pick him up, forgetting that people of his own preference came to the bar as well, and instead of responding to his advance he just responded to the question.

"I guess. I've been here more than once if that's what you mean." As he put his hand up to gesture to the bartender, the other man pushed his hand down back onto the counter.

"Why don't you stop at this? I can already tell you're drunk, a ridiculous amount I might add. The smell is practically radiating off of you." The man suggested, which he just got a glare in response. Even so, he appeared to have taken the advice and stopped.

"Bartender, a glass of milk for my friend here and strawberry cocktail for me." The man said, looking back over at the others now wide brown eyes.

"You don't have to get me anything." He said, his voice slurred, even though he hadn't even had more than two glasses of the strong liquor he thought he could handle. "In any case, why don't you just leave me alone?"

The other man fiddled with pieces of his raven black hair, his elbow on the counter while his head lay in his palm. "You were sitting here alone and I thought it would be interesting to make conversation with you." The other answered, giving another warm smile as the milk was put down on the counter next to the fruity drink.

"Well, don't." The brown haired man retorted, picking up the milk and chugging it quickly before promptly walking out of the bar. The dark haired man watched this display, standing up to follow the other out the door. He paused once he saw someone else approach the other, looking at him suggestively while the other just looked bored and drunk. The two of them exchanged conversation, then they walked off together, the taller mans arm around the shorter drunks.

Not sure what else he should do, he retreated back inside of the bar defeated while the other two continued their walk out.

* * *

The brown haired man was now back inside of his apartment, underneath the man he had been with on the street and crying out underneath him in pleasure. It had been like this for as long as he could remember, sex without attachment, only the pleasure of feeling another warm body. The man hovering above him was pushing into him roughly, the other leaking tears from the pain. Even in his drunken stupor, he knew what was going on. The sensation of another foreign body inside of him, the sounds of his own voice as well as the throbbing of his head from the drinking.

All of these feelings were nothing new to him, since he had been through this many times before. He wasn't looking for a relationship; he just used sex as a way of escape. Escape from the pain of his secret love, escape from the harsh reality of his unhappiness, all of it. The man on top leaned down; kissing the brown haired mans neck hungrily while he continued to push into him.

'_Just do it until I can't even think straight.' _He thought, biting his lip to hold back his voice and wrapping his arms around the other body while the lusty moans continued to ring in his ears.

* * *

The morning after was troubling, the consequences of so much drinking were so clear it was painful. The throbbing of his head was now not a result of the excessive movement from the alcohol in his system, but rather the hangover from so much drinking. He groaned in pain, trying to move around in his sleep but unable to due to the pair of arms wrapped around him.

It took him a moment to realize he was naked, and that the person behind him had been someone he spent the night with. He sighed, knowing that he would now have to chase another person out of his apartment. He had already gotten used to waking up like this, ever since his feelings for that person began to build up more than they ever had before and causing him great distress which made him go out and try to drink it off, sometimes his nights ending in a random hookup such as this one. He felt the regret swell up inside of him, though he knew regretting at this point was unnecessary.

Slipping out of bed, he tried to steady himself and rummaged through his drawers, throwing on anything to cover his exposed body until he would go shower later. He glanced over at his clock; the time read "6:00 am". Thankfully, he had work in two hours, which gave him enough time to cook something and shower after throwing his guest out. Turning his attention back to the bed, he saw the face of his one night stand looking up at him with confusion before last nights events seemed to hit him and he scrambled out of bed nervously, quickly threw on his clothing, uttered an apology and left.

_'Well, at least I didn't have to chase him out.' _He thought, walking towards the bathroom to freshen up.

* * *

The brown haired man now sat in a small office, the sun illuminating the light beige walls while he typed on a computer. His attire was different, from his thick sweater and khaki pants to a black shirt with brown slacks and a red tie to complete the whole ensemble. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips were in a frown, he kept his usual expression. As he typed, he heard the upbeat voice of the other professor enter the room.

"Goooood morning Kamijo-sensei!" The professor called, grabbing the man on the laptop into a tight hug. "Or should I say, Hiroki?"

"Get the hell off of me, Miyagi." Hiroki ordered without adding honorifics to the other mans name, his patience wearing thin due to his massive hangover. Miyagi seemed not to have heard him, still having his grip on Hiroki. After a moment, he released him and instead pushed Hiroki's head to the side and examined his neck.

"So, busy night, huh?" Miyagi asked, his tone now serious while Hiroki slapped his hand away.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He demanded, his eyes going wide as he put his hand to his neck. The red hickey on his neck became all too apparent to him, causing him to blush in embarrassment. He went quiet as his face softened from his angry expression to one hinted at sadness.

"So, you did it again." Miyagi said, watching as Hiroki flinched from hearing this. Of course, he had hit the nail right on the head and that only further made him ashamed of his behavior. "If you're going to go looking so remorseful like that, then why even do it?" He asked.

"What do you know?" Hiroki hissed, trying to regain his composure as fixed his shirt to hide the lovebite, then resumed typing on his computer.

"Enough to know that you're going to end up with something if you keep this up. Why don't you go talk to a therapist instead of just allowing all of these people to screw you senseless?" He crossed his arms over his chest, disappointment and worry apparent in his tone.

"I don't want to go pouring my heart out to some random person I don't even know just so they can judge me."

Miyagi sighed, reaching into his shirt pocket and pulling out a small card, looking at it a bit before walking out of the room.

Hiroki felt relief wash over him, now glad that his colleague was leaving him alone. He heard the sounds of talking outside of the door, Miyagi now on his phone. After a few moments, the talking stopped and the professor entered the room again.

"So, I just got off of the phone with one of my friends," Miyagi began.

"What does that have to do with me?" Hiroki spat.

"Well, I asked if they had anyone who would be willing to see you as soon as possible. There is one, his name is Doctor Kusama. Maybe you'll be willing to talk to him since you don't seem to have any intention of talking to me." Miyagi said, handing him a building address as well as a time and date written on it.

"Didn't I just tell you that I don't want to go see a therapist?"

"Yes, and now I'm telling you that whether or not you want to, I know that you definitely need to." Miyagi said with a sigh. "At least give it a chance, they're at least willing to let you have a free session since you sound like you could use it. It isn't like you're paying someone for it, at least not this time. So, try it. Alright?" With that, Miyagi left the room.

Hiroki listened to the click of the door closing, trying to keep his eyes off of the paper that appeared to be taunting him while Miyagi's words floated around in his mind. He reluctantly picked up the small sheet of paper, reading the print and then putting his head down in his hands.

_'Everything is messed up.' _

**Lust: self-indulgent sexual desire.**

**I guess this would be more of an alternate reality fic than an alternate universe, since the only thing that's different is that Nowaki is a therapist rather than a children's doctor. This fanfic will have a lot, and I do mean a lot, of sex. Just, by the way. It is called lust after all, so that's pretty understandable. **


	2. Chapter 2

****

**Due to my negligence, I had completely forgotten that Hiroki and Nowaki met when Nowaki was still a teenager, thankfully Scriverane reminded me of that though. Not that this will affect the storyline in any way, I just felt I had to mention that. So, in this, Nowaki and Hiroki still happen, just this time Nowaki is older since he can drink as well as already has a profession, 24 to an exact age, which makes Hiroki 28 (of course). I wanted to clarify, since I just clarified it myself upon figuring out I had messed something up here. D: But it's okay, tiny pothole in the road that I just needed to patch up. **

With that, I find that I have a small audience to start with, which makes me terribly happy. :) I hope to gain more readers as I go along.

Also, I may go back and revise this chapter since keeps mixing up my stories when i upload them for some reason. D:

Hiroki was back at home, sitting at the table while he slurped the packaged ramen noodles in front of him. He was never a good cook, though he didn't really have to worry about such things considering some of the people who came into his house usually cooked for him, although the price for such meals usually was after sex, he didn't mind it in the least. As long as he was getting fed, and getting what he wanted, he didn't care.

Sipping slowly from the cup of tea he had made, he flipped through the television channels with a bored expression while he sprawled out onto the couch, sighing contentedly as he allowed himself to relax. The remote still pressing the buttons, he stopped as he briefly saw an image of a man and a woman kissing through all of the surfing, pressing the button to go back and look at it once more.

The man had his hand on her cheek, kissing her tenderly while the woman was returning it graciously. The scene was a bedroom scene, one that was indicating something sexual was to happen soon. Hiroki watched it, not realizing that he was imagining the couple as him and Akihiko, doing the same things the couple had done. The man was touching her entire body, allowing his hands to roam and feel while she gave little whimpers in return. It was apparent she was enjoying it, however, since she would arch her back in ecstasy and grip the covers when his face had disappeared from the screen and was now giving even more suggestive themes to the story. As he daydreamed, it had almost felt as though Akihiko was in the room with him, kissing him, touching him, whispering things into his ear. It had all felt real to him.

A commercial break came on, as the TV drama was not to show the entire scene, and Hiroki was drawn out of his daydream. Brought back to reality, he was now met with a growing erection in his sweatpants as well as an ache in his heart when he realized that the loneliness and desire for Akihiko had caused this. The ache was normal to him. He had grown so accustomed to it that he didn't even bother to cry anymore, knowing that it would only further remind him of the thing he couldn't have. So, instead, he pulled out his phone and dialed.

After a few rings, he heard

the click of the phone being picked up.

"Hello?" The other on the line answered.

"Hey, are you busy right now?"

"Not at the moment," The other began, pausing for a moment as though trying to assess the situation. "Do you need me to come over?"

"Yes, right now."

"Understood." The other hung up without another word.

Hiroki hung up the phone and sighed, deciding to throw away his trash and wash the dishes before his guest was to arrive. As he brought the things back into the kitchen, he paused as he saw the piece of paper with the therapists name and the appointment time written in black pen sitting on the counter. Lifting it up, he saw the date was for tomorrow, since he didn't have any classes that day. _'Damn Miyagi would be one to know such things.' _He thought, grimacing as he did so. Still, he was trying to figure out whether or not he would attend, since it was just a free ride to complain as much as he wanted to. While he contemplated such thoughts, he heard the chime of the doorbell.

"Coming." He called in a monotone voice, walking slowly while he set the paper down on the table in front of the mirror next to his door. Unhooking a few locks, he opened the door to be met with the person whom he had beckoned over only moments ago.

"Is something wrong?" The man asked, giving a charming smile to the scowling man standing in the doorway in front of him. Hiroki merely shook his head, gesturing for the man to come inside.

After the guest had removed his shoes, he latched onto Hiroki, pushing him into a wall and nibbling on his neck softly.

"Jeez, can't you even give me a bit of time to prepare myself first?" Hiroki asked, though secretly enjoying how eager the other had been. He showed how much he enjoyed it when he let out a soft moan against the man's leg right after he had protested only seconds ago. He felt the other grin against him, lifting up his shirt to reveal his pale chest. "Shinoda, why don't we at least take this to the bed? It'd be uncomfortable doing in on the floor like this." Hiroki asked while the two of them sunk down to the floor.

"Well, you only called me over here for one thing. So, I want to waste no time doing unnecessary things, Hiroki-chan." Shinoda teased, knowing such a nickname would only get Hiroki all riled up.

"Since when did I say you could add 'chan' to my name?" Hiroki asked, trying his best to sound angry although it only came out as a small growl due to the man gripping his member and stroking it carefully while he pressed his lips to Hiroki's. Hiroki resisted at first, wanting to continue what he had been saying first before he succumbed to the rising heat in his body and his nether region. As Shinoda began stripping him down, Hiroki took it without any resistance.

While Shinoda's tongue roamed his chest, his hand continued to pump at Hiroki's length, Hiroki grabbing onto Shinodas dress shirt and leaning forward while he allowed the moans to spill freely from his lips. Even as he had someone touching him, giving him the release that he desired, only one face came to his mind.

_'Akihiko.' _He thought bitterly, remembering the person who had gotten him into such a position in the first place, having meaningless sex like this. He began to imagine Akihiko touching him like this, causing the excitement factor to raise by 200% as he came into Shinoda's hand, his insides constricting as the liquid spilled from his body. Panting, he leaned backwards and closed his eyes, Shinoda pressing his lips and forcing his tongue into Hiroki's mouth, which Hiroki allowed him access.

As the two were connected by mouth, Shinoda released his own throbbing member and guided Hiroki's hand to it, which Hiroki began to move his skilled hand along the length. He could tell that Shinoda was getting even more excited than he had been before, pushing his hand along Hiroki's while he entered two fingers inside of Hiroki, causing the brunette to gasp from the forced entry.

Shinoda seemed to be growing impatient with the hand to hand touching, now removing his own hand from Hiroki and slipping the man's sweatpants off, spreading his legs while he slowly pushed his way inside. Hiroki wrapped his legs around Shinodas waist while Shinoda fucked him senseless; giving it to him the way he liked since It never gave him time to form a coherent thought.

_'It's just sex anyways.' _Hiroki thought, throwing his head back while the other thrust into him again and again.

* * *

Hiroki woke up groggily, looking around at his surroundings as he figured out he was now back into his bed. _'We must've changed locations.' _He thought casually, looking down to see that he was already dressed in the clothes he had been wearing when Shinoda came by. He glanced over to see Shinoda sleeping soundly, a smile on his face as he had been satisfied.

Hiroki slithered out of bed, making his way to the kitchen to get something to drink before he noticed the mirror in front of the door again, as well as a few articles of Shinoda's clothing. Deciding to go pick them up and take them back to Shinoda when he was to hurry off home so he could change his clothes since he knew going to work in the same outfit he had left in would definitely cause for some concern. As he picked up the dress shirt, stained with this and that, he noticed the piece of paper sitting on the table, the same he had left there when the man had arrived as well as the same paper that had the information on that therapist he was still contemplating on going to.

_'…Whether or not you want to, you definitely need to.'_

_

* * *

_

The next morning had been a boring one, Shinoda left while Hiroki had still been sleeping, which was weird for Hiroki since Shinoda usually stuck around at least to tease him a bit after he woke up. But, the absence of the other body was what hit Hiroki the most, since knowing that someone else was there with him didn't make him feel so alone, but now the loneliness seemed to envelop him.

Picking up the paper from his bedside table, he read for the time.

**DR. KUSAMA NOWAKI **

**150 S. TOKYO ST. APT 300. **

**10:30 AM. **

Hiroki looked over at the clock, it read '9:30.' Giving a small yawn, he made his way to the bathroom to shower and dress.

He now sat in a waiting room, looking rather impatient although he had been the one to come 10 minutes early to the appointment and the person who was still in the room seemed to be bawling, crying her little heart out.

'_Sheesh, give me a break. Why cry so much in front of someone you don't know, it's humiliating.' _Hiroki with all of his pride could think something like that, of course. Still, he was curious as to what was really going on in there but decided against trying to listen in and find out. Instead, he picked up one of the magazines and read a few of the titles of articles mentioned in the booklet. Lost in the world of reading, he hadn't realized the crying woman was now walking out of the office with the therapist trying to calm her down the best way he could. Soon, after she had now died down to a few sniffles, he smiled and told her to come back again so that they could talk further about her family issues.

Going back to his office, he paused as he saw the familiar face sitting in a chair in front of his office. Not sure what else to do, he merely tried to spark a conversation. "Um, excuse me," He began.

The brunette looked up from his magazine, clearly showing his disdain for the man without having known who he was. Though, one look into those blue eyes and it all came back to him.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as though he owned this establishment and the man was intruding onto his territory. "Here to tell me more about how much I've been drinking? I'll have you know I wasn't drinking a lot, thank you very much." He rudely stated, the other man looked apologetic for having offended the man and he wasn't even trying.

"I'm sorry," He apologized. "Please, come into my office Mister…" He trailed off; looking down at his planner for the name of the next person he was to see. "…Hiroki-san."

Hiroki frowned, not wanting to have met such a man again since he felt as though the man had intruded on his life that night by suggesting to him that he stop drinking, even though he was perfectly fine where he was. Still, he followed the man into his office and sat down on the long maroon couch.

"Why don't you lean backwards, Hiroki, so we can begin?" Nowaki asked politely, while Hiroki shot him a look and then complied.

**I was going to type up the entire conversation, but I'll save that for the next chapter since its midnight and I'm tired. D: I know, I'm a terrible author for doing this to my readers, but I shall get the next chapter up ASAP. **


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I'm writing this while I'm waiting for my mom to come get me from school again. Also, jamming out to some tunes because I'm bored and I like jamming out to tunes. Idk. I should be studying for my World History AP re-take, but I'm kinda going "screw that class" right now since my teacher sucks with reviews. Bleh. :/**

Anyways, I have gotten a few more alerts and a few more reviews, which even if this story doesn't get wildly popular, I will continue for my readers that are reading it and like it. :)

Hiroki sat in the office, sitting on the chair while he stared at the ceiling. He wasn't sure when the noirette was to start this therapy session, and it was the waiting that made him more anxious than anything. The only sound that could be heard in the room was the sound of the air conditioner blowing the cooled air particles into the room, which helped to calm his nerves just a bit. While Nowaki seemed to be getting his materials together, Hiroki took it upon himself to examine the office a bit. The walls were of a dark green color, apparently trying to give a calming effect even though Hiroki felt tense at this. His eyes then moved to the cherry wood bookshelf, with different types of books stacked onto it. He stared a bit harder, recognizing the spine of one of the books as a book he had at home, trying to make out the letters on the side to see who had been the one to write it.

Nowaki was scribbling little notes onto his paper, mostly filling in things he was required to do such as date, patient and signature. Glancing up from the form, he saw Hiroki staring intently at his bookshelf and his mind drifted back to when Hiroki was reading a magazine article as though it were a chapter from a novel. From that, he inferred that Hiroki was one to enjoy reading and decided it would be a good conversation starter. "Do you like to read books, Hiroki-san?" He asked, the man stopping what he was doing to look back surprised at the counselor. He hadn't said a word to him since they had come into the office, though he couldn't understand why he picked such a lame question.

"Er, I'm an assistant professor at a college." He replied, sinking back down into the chair and laying down while he looked over at Nowaki, who was writing something down on a notepad. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I find that getting to know my patients helps me to understand them just a bit better when we actually get into the session." Nowaki said, tucking the pen behind his ear. "I find it helps me to help you, so to speak."

"Oh," He muttered. He wasn't sure what else to say at this point, especially since he had never been to a therapist session before. "So, aren't you supposed to be asking me questions?" He asked, looking over at the dark haired man who looked up from his paper upon hearing this question.

"I will," He said, grabbing his small clock and setting the timer for an hour. "So, your friend...Yoh-san, said that you had something going on in your life…er, something that was apparently causing you to go out and," He paused, squinting at the paper before his lips twisted uncomfortably. "'Drink yourself silly, and sleep with random men.'" He said, quoting the paper that his friend had given him.

_'So that's what you think of me, Miyagi?' _Hiroki thought sourly, grimacing at what the man had read off of the paper. Thinking back on his reasons, he couldn't help but start to understand more and more why he was sitting in this office in front of this doctor whose sole purpose was to try and make him feel better. Even so, he crossed his arms over his chest and tried not to seem so hurt by what Nowaki had read off of the paper.

"I'm not one to mix my personal lives with my professional but, that night-"

"Yes, we went back to my apartment and had rough, drunken sex." Hiroki finished his sentence without so much as batting an eye. He was already angry over what Miyagi had said, and so his usual philosophy about not talking to therapists had gone out the window due to his random outburst.

Nowaki didn't say anything, but instead went back to writing down something onto his clipboard while Hiroki was fuming in his seat. After scribbling more down, he glanced back up at the angry man who only looked at him with distaste.

"What?" Hiroki hissed, now wanting to just go home and crawl under his covers, possibly watch some mindless television while he gorged on food full of empty calories. He didn't care, as long as he wasn't here right now, now regretting having decided to come in the first place if he knew he was going to be subject to this. While the clock continued ticking, there was the awkward silence that made its way back into the room, causing the two men to shift uncomfortably. However, the silence was broken when Hiroki's phone began to ring loudly, the man whom the phone belonged to jumped from hearing the ringing hit his eardrums. Reaching into his pocket, he looked at the screen and his entire expression went from an annoyed one to a disheartened one in an instant.

Nowaki watched this, catching onto such facial expression change and scribbling more onto his paper. His paper was full of so much information, and he hadn't even really begun the session yet. Still, he felt that everything the man was doing could be important to helping him break such irrational behavior. So, he listened silently, pretending to continue to write while Hiroki picked up the phone.

"What do you want, Akihiko?" He said, his tone of fake annoyance sounded much different from his tone of real annoyance, as Nowaki could tell due to the fact that he was purely annoyed only minutes ago. He saw Hiroki's eyes shift over to where he was, causing him to move his gaze downward back onto his clipboard as he pretended to continue writing.

Deciding it was okay to have a brief conversation, he continued. As he listened to what his friend was saying, he continued to look more depressed than angry. So much, in fact, that it looked as though he was pleading with him to stop his talking at once before he burst into tears. It appeared as though he hadn't a clue what his face looked like, until his train of thought ended and the person on the other phone was calling out to him. _"Hiroki? Hiroki?" _The voice called.

Hiroki quickly came from his daydream, putting on his angry front once more. "Yes yes, I heard you," his expression changed to a bored one. "Why don't you just steal him away to live with you? I don't think he would mind, especially since he's got that brother of his. I think you helping to take care of his lovely little brother would be enough for him to fall in love with you." He spoke the last line sarcastically, practically taunting the man as though he were some kind of idiot.

_"You know I can't do that. He'd never let me get in the middle of him and that boy." _

"Ah, ah I get it. Well, I tried, didn't I?" Hiroki said, trying to end the conversation as quickly as possible. "Well, I'm in the middle of something so I'll have to call you back." With that, he promptly hung up the phone without as much as a goodbye. Looking back at the man sitting in the chair, Nowaki's eyes darted to the clock. Only 20 minutes left.

"Well, Hiroki-san. We do have 20 minutes left, and I would like to try and make this effort to come as well as my effort to try and help you as fruitful as possible, so why don't I ask you a few questions? Just simple things, that I'm sure an assistant professor such as you could answer." Nowaki complimented, giving a warm smile to try and brighten the mood of the room as well as the other mans spirits.

"Go ahead." The other almost whispered, a hand over his face while he shook, trying to contain himself from breaking down in front of some stranger whom he had been in the same room as for merely a few minutes now. Nowaki frowned at this, although he was used to seeing patients break down in front of him all of the time due to built up stress or bringing up traumatizing events, none had looked as pathetic and vulnerable as this man had right now, the fact that he was trying to hold it in only made Nowaki feel worse, since he wanted to encourage the man to break down into pieces.

Deciding not to continue with what else he was to do, he instead put the clipboard down and stood, making his way to the door. His hand almost touched the handle, a raspy voice calling out to him.

"Where are you going?"

"I wanted to give you some time to yourself. Don't worry, I won't peek." He teased while he turned the knob. However, he was stopped once more by the voice.

"It's fine, I'll leave." Before Nowaki could reassure him that it was fine, Hiroki was already walking towards the door in front of him. Making the choice not to stop him, he pulled away and allowed Hiroki to throw the door open as he practically ran out of the building. The timer back in Nowaki's office rang loudly; the sound falling on deaf ears as Nowaki could only be terribly confused watching him run. Though, he did snap back to reality when he saw Hiroki stop at the doorway and turn around.

"…You will be here tomorrow, won't you?" He asked.

"Er, yes. I always will be." Nowaki replied reassuringly.

"…I'd like to come back, if you don't mind." The other requested, feeling terribly embarrassed for saying such things.

Nowaki smiled at this, a bit happy knowing that someone who needed his help the most was finally asking for it.

"Of course."

**Blerg, I felt this chapter kind of sucked a little. I want it to get better, but my beginnings are never good anyways. Still, I hope that it was good enough to gain a few more readers. :) Since I love all o fmy readers. Haha. **


	4. Chapter 4

**So, I've had a good day. A much better one than yesterday, I might add. We watched videos in the two classes I hate going to, I got to eat ice cream with rum in it (daiquiri ice from Baskin Robins if you want to try it), and now I'm eating Greek food while my mom is making me a pillow with musical notes and scores all over it. So, what better way to end this day than with a new chapter? Enjoy! :) Also, I went back and put a disclaimer in the first chapter since I'm so awesome and forgot it and I'm gonna get sued for it. XD**

Hiroki sat in the office, reading questions about a novel they had begun in class and grading them in red pen as he went along. With his other hand, he picked up a coffee cup and drank from it slowly. The more he went through and marked red on the papers, the angrier he got, mostly due to the fact that he hadn't expected his students to fail so miserably. _'They are going to get an earful from me tomorrow.' _He thought, clutching the pen as to not toss the papers off of his lap since he knew he would be the one to pick them up. _'Maybe I've just been a bit too lenient.' _When he thought of that sentence, the reason for such behavior could only be linked to one source.

_'It's that damned therapist!' _

Lost in his own little fit of anger due to Nowaki, he hadn't even noticed professor Miyagi had walked in. Miyagi, usually being one to make his presence known, was feeling mischievous when he noticed that even after he had walked in and announced himself; his apprentice wasn't paying any attention. Sneaking up behind Hiroki, he put his hands over the brunette's eyes and grinned to himself.

Hiroki, however, wasn't one to be fooled so easily and knew exactly who had been the one to blind him. "Miyagi-kyoju." He said, trying to pry Miyagi's fingers off of his face.

"Nah ah ah." Miyagi said, teasing his angry little colleague. "First of all, I want to hear all about how that therapy of yours is working out. My friend called me just yesterday to tell me you've been going in everyday for the past two weeks. I guess I made the right choice picking Kusama-san, huh?" He said, so proud of himself.

"Last time I checked, he was the only guy open and you were practically telling me I had no choice but to go." Hiroki said, writing another red mark on a paper before he put the pen down and groaned in frustration.

"What's wrong?"

"Almost every student failed this," He paused, trying to collect his thoughts. "I don't understand how hard this could be! It's just a few simple questions!" Stopping, he looked over at Miyagi. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault?" Miyagi said, appalled at this accusation.

"Yes, you're the one who told me that I had to see somebody! So now my strict attitude has started to go soft!" He pointed a finger at the older man, who continued to look shocked as though he hadn't been to blame.

"Well, excuse me for being worried!" Miyagi yelled back, crossing his arms over his chest and feigning anger just to draw an apology out of Hiroki.

Hiroki was going to shout back, then stopped when he looked down at his watch and saw the time. "Crap, I'm going to be late!" he cried, clicking his pen closed and slipping it into his pocket as he scrambled to get the rest of his things together, periodically looking back down at his watch to monitor his time before throwing his back over his shoulder and going to grab extra books he may need off of the shelf.

"Awww, my Hiroki is leaving me for this therapist? I'm going to be so loooonely." His professor said with a bit of a whine in his tone. "I thought you would stay to tell me all about your adventures but, if you want to go then go." With that, he lit a cigarette and pulled out his seldom-graded work to do a bit of them before he was to go home. Hiroki was in the background, stuffing the books into his bag then glancing back over at the now seriously working professor.

"Thanks." He muttered as he opened the door, closing it behind him before Miyagi had a chance to pounce on him and touch him.

Miyagi looked up from his papers and smiled behind his cigarette at those words, not getting up as he felt that wouldn't be necessary.

* * *

Nowaki looked over at his clock, only 10 minutes left in the session that he was currently working on and then he would get to see Hiroki-san, the man that currently seemed to be occupying most of his time. It wasn't that he had any attachment to him, since he himself could state he didn't. It was mostly that Hiroki seemed to need his help the most, unlike the other patients that came into his office to primarily complain about things they themselves could handle. He wouldn't say anything like this out loud, since it would get him in a lot of trouble but he knew that the only person he wanted to help right now was that man.

_'It just keeps playing in my mind like a car accident.' _He thought, the woman next to him still talking. "Well, I always believe that letting go of your past is the best thing to do at this point, Asuka-san. If you go holding onto all of this pent up anger for your ex-boyfried, it definitely won't do you any good." He said, taking off his glasses that he used primarily to look more professional. At this, she gave a small nod and then heaved a sigh.

"Do you think that I'll fall in love, Kusama-san?" She asked, looking over at him while he put his clipboard down.

"I think everyone has a chance at love, you just have to be willing to find it." He replied, standing up and offering his hand to her to help her stand. She smiled at this comment, giving a little giggle while the two of them walked outside of the office. Nowaki saw Hiroki sitting down in the waiting room chairs, reading a magazine as he always did and trying to pretend he didn't see Nowaki walking out of the office with another client.

After giving the woman her goodbyes, he walked back into the building and stopped next to the brunette. "Shall we go inside?" He offered, the other closing the magazine and walked parallel to the taller man.

Even though the office door wasn't too far of a distance, Nowaki decided that a small chat before session couldn't hurt. "So, how are things going, Hiroki-san?" He asked.

"Good." The other said, not having anything interesting to say other than that.

"You haven't done anything?" Nowaki asked, trying to choose his words carefully as they walked into the emerald colored room and shut the door behind them.

Hiroki glared at him when he asked this question, assuming that the other had been trying to insinuate something about his previous behavior. "Nothing." _'Yet.'_ He added in his mind. As much as the therapy was helping him to vent all of his anger onto someone else, he still couldn't help his unstoppable desire for Akihiko. He had even had a wet dream about the man, also waking up to realize he had cried in his sleep when the dream-Akihiko had gone and left him for Takahiro.

"Well then, that's good." Nowaki smiled brightly, scribbling down onto his sheet of paper before glancing back up at Hiroki.

"So, shall we begin?"

* * *

"Anyways, the point I'm trying to get across is that if I had to choose between being single for the rest of my life but having many friends, or having a lover and no friends I would pick-" Hiroki spoke, stopping as the sound of the alarm interrupted his sentence. Nowaki picked up the small clock and pressed a few buttons, switching it off. Hiroki sat up, stretching and giving an elongated groan as he stretched his arms out over his head. Having sat in that position so long he wasn't even aware of how it was going to make his muscles ache afterwards. Even so, the discussion today was a bit more in-depth that it usually was, and Hiroki knew his answer would be swimming in his head all day until tomorrow.

_'Ugh,' _He thought. _'The last place I want to go is home.' _He picked up his bags and put them over his shoulder, looking over at the therapist who appeared to be doing the same thing. "What are you doing?" He questioned.

"Oh, I don't have any appointments after this," He glanced down at his wristwatch. "So, I was just going to go pick up some dinner on my way home."

Hiroki frowned at this. He actually was a bit jealous of this man, knowing that all he could do was just pick up food and eat it a restaurant alone and then return to his home to bathe and sleep with no problems whatsoever. But, even so, Hiroki knew fully well why he couldn't allow himself to be so calm since he'd been in a love that didn't appear to be going anywhere.

'_Damn, just thinking about it gets me depressed and angry all at the same time.' _He thought, waiting for Nowaki so that he could at least have someone to walk with to the door before they parted ways.

Nowaki looked over at his patient, a bit confused as to what he was waiting on since the older man never stuck around for so long afterwards. Still, having someone wait on him made him a little happy, since he enjoyed the company of someone else even though he was perfectly content being alone as well. Upon gathering all of his things together, he started towards the door and was surprised when he saw Hiroki walking by his side. Even though Hiroki was voluntarily walking with him, he appeared distracted and continued to keep silent even after the two had exited the building.

"Well then, I'll see you." Hiroki gave an aloof goodbye and turned around, walking and looking up at the sky in a bored manner.

Nowaki felt the guilt build up in him, knowing that Hiroki didn't seem to be so happy going back home. Of course, Nowaki knew how to put the pieces of a puzzle together, and as he started thinking back on Hiroki's behavior in the office and how he had waited on him. _'Perhaps I should invite him.' _Nowaki thought, walking in the direction of the sullen man.

_'I wonder what I'll be doing tonight.' _Hiroki thought, putting his hands into his pockets when he felt a hand grasp his shoulder. He twitched at the feeling, quickly spinning his head around to look back at the black haired therapist he had separated with only moments ago. "…Yes?"

"Well, I decided that I would ask you if you wanted to come to dinner with me." Nowaki gave a smile as he made this statement. "I was a little worried since you seemed so distant back there." Nowaki said, his smile softening.

"No need to be worried about me, I'm fine." Hiroki said with a hint of irritation, mostly mad at himself for someone having seen through him like that. As he tried to tug his arm away, Nowaki didn't seem to have the slightest intention of moving until he got the answer he wanted from him. After a bit of struggling and a discouraged look from Nowaki, he gave in. "…Fine." He mumbled, his cheeks tinting pink as he looked away not to see Nowaki's ecstatic face.

* * *

The sounds of adults as well as children could be heard in the restaurant. Hiroki looked around at the atmosphere, the pink walls uplifting his mood just a bit while Nowaki sipped from his strawberry juice with a straw. The chairs were near windows, allowing children to put their faces on it only to be reprimanded by their parents about the germs and some adults looking out to people watch or just to stare at the sky. Turning back around, he sipped his cola from the bendy straw and looked up from his drink when he heard Nowaki start to speak.

"So, since we aren't in a professional environment anymore, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try to start some casual conversation," Nowaki said, setting down his drink. "What kinds of books do you like to read?" Nowaki picked such a topic on purpose, knowing that he could draw out an entire novel from the man and how he could go on and on about books he's read before.

"Whatever seems interesting. There are a few that I've heard about that I'd want to read, but unfortunately I don't know where to find them." He sounded angry as he stated those last few words, but Nowaki expected as much from a book lover such as himself. "I read a lot of childish stories when I was smaller, ones about teddy bears and aliens." He chuckled, in spite of how he felt, remembering how stupidly innocent he was when he was smaller and how Akihiko had kissed him and he didn't even know what to think about it. Though, his laugh seemed like he was really laughing because he needed to let out his pent up emotions somehow. "Fiction stories are nice though, a little escape from reality does us all a bit of good." He said nonchalantly, the smile dissolving from his face.

Their food was then brought to them after this, the two eating and chatting away about things that didn't mater such as their favorite animals and silly stories about their childhood. Most of Hiroki's were full of things he had done with Akihiko, though he seemed to be unconsciously doing it.

Finishing his last bit of food, Nowaki listened to Hiroki talk about how he and Akihiko had gone to the same college and how Akihiko let himself be drugged by a crazy girl at a party who had intended to take him to one of the bedrooms and have her way with him but was quickly interrupted once he had shown up with Takahiro to save him.

"Though, he doesn't remember that cause he was drugged. And even if he did, he'd probably only remember Takahiro dragging him out of there since I didn't say anything."

Nowaki listened but continued not to say anything, Instead, he opened his wallet to pay for the meal.

Noticing this, Hiroki paused his story. "What are you doing?" He asked. "You're not going to pay for my food, are you? I can pay for my own food, it's fine." He said as Nowaki put down enough for him and Hiroki.

"Don't worry, I invited you here so you don't have to worry about paying." Nowaki assured him, giving a little wave of the hand as though to disregard Hiroki's concern. "Shall we go?" he asked, standing from his chair and extending a hand to help Hiroki up out of his seat as he picked up Hiroki's things.

The two of them walked to the door and left the restaurant, now standing outside on the sidewalk while the moonlight shone down on them as well as the light from the sign on the building.

"I'll see you…tomorrow?" Nowaki asked, hoping that Hiroki would give him a yes since he enjoyed having him around. Instead, Hiroki didn't say anything but took back his bags and said a thank you as well as a goodnight, promptly leaving to the train station.

**There's to be more to this chapter, but unfortunately I've been busy and I think it would be a nice little thing to add to the beginning of the next chapter anyways. :] I've been trying to type up this chapter for the last couple of days now, but unfortunately schoolwork has gotten in the way and allergies have been hell for me. Bleh. :| Anyways, I hope you guys liked this chapter as much as I liked writing it. :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello readers! Sorry that I've been gone so long, I've just been out doing volunteer work and homework as well as schoolwork and such. Also, I've got a bunch of different ways that I'm going to handle this chapter , even though I said that I would add something to the beginning of next chapter but I changed my mind since I thought of something else. Well, then with that I will try to make this chapter as interesting as possible.**

Hiroki lied in his bed, sleeping soundly and rolling over every few minutes as though to find a more comfortable spot on the bed. He grabbed hold of the blanket in his slumber, pulling it up to grab hold of his entire body before a loud buzzing noise could be heard on the nightstand followed by the "pi-ri-ri" of a phone call. He tried to ignore the sound at first, pretending that he was still sleeping and therefore could not be reached since he couldn't hear it. This method seemed to work at first, since he was able to fall back asleep after the phone finished ringing. But, as soon as the noise from the first called ended, the noise from the second call began.

Even though Hiroki could say he was a patient person at times, he didn't want to be bothered with anyone right now since he had finally had a chance to relax after weeks of working, this day marked the beginning of golden week, though it had only marked the first month of his therapy. The phone continued to ring, then stop, then start back up again until finally Hiroki picked up the phone though not in the best of moods.

"What?" He hissed, already annoyed by who had been calling him so much he didn't even bother to check the caller ID.

"Hiroki," the gruff voice on the phone told him exactly who it was, even in his sleepy state.

"Hey, Akihiko," He said, sitting up in bed now that he was already awake and wanted to hear what good excuse this man had to offer him as to why he was calling him in the first place. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Yes, actually. Do you mind if I come over today so you can look over my manuscript? That is, if you're not busy. But, I can already tell you aren't since you just woke up and it's already past 8 o'clock." The person on the other side of the phone said in such a way that Hiroki could almost see that smirk on Akihiko's face that told him that he had already won this battle. Hiroki instead sat in silence, due to not having any other excuse to give the man since he didn't really want to see him though before he could get out a sentence, Akihiko spoke again. "Well, I'll take that as you're compliance, and I'll be over in few minutes."

"Wait, Bakahiko!" Before Hiroki could say anything else, the phone was already giving the beep that indicated that the other had hung up the phone. _'Great, now I have no choice but to get dressed this morning. And here I wanted to at least laze around a bit, finish some chores and run a few errands._ As he continued to curse Akihiko in his mind, he got up to go shower.

* * *

The two adults now sat in Hiroki's living room, the sounds of the clock ticking and page flipping could be heard as Akihiko watched Hiroki like a hawk while Hiroki looked over his manuscript. After a few pages, Hiroki reached into his pocket and pulled out a small pen and scribbled something down onto the side before reading still. He was a fast reader, and he appreciated that aspect of him though he still wanted to see what Hiroki had written since he was one to write some terribly harsh comments on some of his work.

Hiroki was actually really interested in the book, though he wouldn't say he was. There were a few grammar mistakes here and there, but not any that would actually distract from the true nature of the novel. Though, he couldn't pull away from his need to write something down onto the manuscript, possibly changing a few sentences around. After he was satisfied with what he wrote, he handed it back to Akihiko who muttered a small thank you in return.

Akihiko took it back, not bothering to read any of the notes Hiroki had written down but instead putting it back into his bag. Hiroki looked at him with a look that could only be described as confusion.

"A-Aren't you even going to read the notes I put? I put a lot of work into that you know." Hiroki said, sounding a bit angry since he assumed that Akihiko would check his critique first thing.

"I will, later though. I'm too tired for it now." Akihiko said, slipping a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it up, sucking in and allowing the smoke to seep from his lips before he stood and began walking towards Hiroki's bedroom.

"What the heck are you doing?" Hiroki asked, watching as the man blatantly didn't seem to care that he was calling after him but instead continued to walk away, putting his bag onto the floor against the wall as he crawled underneath the covers. "Oi!" he called, walking into the bedroom to find the silver haired man laying down and his body rising slowly and falling. Deciding not to wake him up just to yell at him since he was such a terrible person when he woke up, he just walked back into the living room and sat down.

Walking over to his shelf, he picked up a book and sat down to read it, allowing himself to get lost in the book. As he flipped a page, he heard a knock on the door. _'Who could it be now?' _He thought, already a bit annoyed that Akihiko had just helped himself to his bed even though it was his day off and he had fully intended to spend it reading a few books he had never gotten around to reading since things had been so hectic. Helping himself up, he walked to the door and opened it to be met with a man standing outside in a suit, a smirk playing on his lips.

Hiroki's eyes went wide with surprise, not having expected to see him since he hadn't talked to him since he had started to go to therapy in the first place. Even so, he didn't want him to come, not right now anyways if at all. "Shinoda," He choked. "What are you doing here?" Stopping, he looked back to see if Akihiko had woken up yet and then decided to step outside to talk to him. "I didn't call you here." He shot him an angry look, at least wanting to have been informed of this visit.

"Oh you wound me." Shinoda replied, grabbing Hiroki by the back of the head and pulling him into a deep kiss, his tongue starting to intertwine with Hiroki's. Hiroki allowed him access, and then remembered the situation he was in and pushed him away, wiping his lips off furiously.

"Look, not right now, okay? I didn't call you, which should tell you that I don't want to see you." Hiroki tried to keep his voice calm; though he could tell his voice was starting to shake from trying to hold in how much he wanted to yell as well as how nervous he was if his guest had walked out to see him talking with a sex friend.

"How mean, I really wanted to see you, you know. You haven't called me in weeks; I had started to think you had forgotten all about me." Shinoda replied, wrapping his arm around Hiroki's waist and pushing him up against the wall. "Though, with all of the things I've done to your body, I don't think you could if you tried." He whispered sultrily in Hiroki's ear, which only made trying to get the man to leave that much harder since Hiroki could almost see himself being dragged into that bedroom and made a mess of all night long.

_'I can't let myself be swept away like this; especially if Akihiko sees me doing these kinds of things…he'll think I'm the worst.' _Hiroki thought pitifully, trying to pull out of Shinoda's iron grip while Shinoda kissed his neck sweetly. "Wait, wait." Hiroki said, thinking quickly as to not end up having sex in public. "Let's go inside."

Shinoda complied, grinning from ear to ear while he grabbed Hiroki's wrist and took him inside. He kicked his shoes off quickly, not caring where they would go, and starting his way towards the bedroom.

"Ah, wait!" Hiroki said again, Shinoda stopping and giving a small growl of frustration since he had already wanted to taste Hiroki's body on his tongue and hear his moans ring in his ears. Looking back, he still had his hand on Hiroki's wrist and sighed.

"What is it? You don't like doing it in other places in the house, so I decided to actually go to the bedroom first before anything else. What's the problem?"

"Well, uh," Hiroki looked around, putting the pieces together in his mind as to what he would say. "I'm feeling adventurous today so I want to do it on the couch. Come on, let's go." He started to pull Shinoda away, though the other man wouldn't budge but instead noticed the increased pulse rate.

"Why are you so nervous? We've done this before." Shinoda said, referring to the increased heartbeat.

Hiroki shook his head frantically, "No reason, just a bit nervous that's all." He assured Shinoda, who believed his bluff until the two of them heard a small groan from inside the bedroom.

"What was that?" Shinoda asked, glancing over at the lump underneath the covers that he had just now noticed.

Hiroki froze in place, now putting in more effort to make sure that Shinoda wouldn't be able to figure out who it was in the bed but Shinoda's curiosity had already been piqued. He grabbed Hiroki's wrist tighter and dragged him into the bedroom to get a closer look, Hiroki just followed along defeated.

Looking over, he saw the mass of silver hair sticking out from under the covers. His gaze went back to Hiroki, who stood embarrassed now that he was in the room with the man he loved and the man that he was using to let loose his pent up passion for the said man. He saw the wicked grin on Shinoda's face, all of the blood from his cheeks flushed out and now he was as pale as a ghost.

"What are you smiling about?" He whispered, still being careful not to wake Akihiko. His question remained unanswered as Shinoda advanced on him and pulled him close, giving him another kiss while he dragged him down to the floor. Hiroki felt his heart sink in his chest as Shinoda continued, stripping him slowly while his tongue worked on Hiroki's neck.

"He's right here you know!" Hiroki continued to whisper, the other man not seeming to give a care in the world while he completely took the man's shirt off and started to lick further down as though savoring every inch of his body. Even though he was trying to pry Shinoda off, his body seemed to be betraying him as his nipples stood firm and filled with blood, giving them a pink tint.

"I know, and if you don't want him to hear that wanton voice of yours, I suggest you keep quiet." Shinoda said while Hiroki's eyes continued to shift to the mass underneath the blanket. Shinoda frowned, not wanting Hiroki to be distracted in the least. So, he reached into the man's pants and grabbed hold of his hardening member, listening to the small whimper he gave as Shinoda began to pump his hand and tease his nipples all at the same time.

"S-S-Stop." He said, not fighting back so harshly as to not wake up Akihiko since he would much rather Shinoda have his way with him than for Akihiko to watch as he was taken by another man. His attempt at stopping Shinoda sounded more like an invitation, Shinoda moving his body down while he removed his hand from Hiroki's length and replaced it with his mouth.

Hiroki bit his lip, tossing his head from side to side while Shinoda sucked, his tongue running along the slit when he would bob back up to the head. Trying to stay quiet was driving Hiroki wild, actually making him even more excited since there had been another person in the room. His legs were spread, his hands unconsciously in Shinoda's hair and grabbing hold of the locks tightly while his back arched and his toes curled, trying to suppress the feelings though he had already succumbed to the pleasure.

Shinoda sat back up, already at his limit and not wanting to continue allowing Hiroki to have all of the pleasure, he positioned himself between Hiroki's legs and undid his own pants quickly. Before Hiroki even had a chance to ask what had been going on, he felt the pain surge through his legs and the metallic taste of blood in his mouth as he bit down even harder. It had been unbearable.

"Oh god," He cried, feeling his body tear to pieces while he was at this man's mercy. "Don't move." He whispered, trying to adjust before Shinoda pulled out all but the head and pushed back in without warning, Hiroki giving a loud groan in response and covering his mouth with his hand afterwards.

"I told you not to make any noise, but if you want him to hear you, be as loud as you want." Shinoda teased, thrusting into him while Hiroki closed his eyes, trying to ignore the sound of Shinoda's breathing as it timed with the thing that connected their bodies together.

_'Oh god, please. Don't wake up.' _He thought, holding back tears as he thought of his love sleeping on the bed quietly.

_'Don't wake up.' _

**Sorry, I know. "No rape warning? Aw thanks. I just read this, and now there's rape. Great. I'm gonna kill you." Let's not do that. I just figured it would be something interesting, since it would definitely be interesting to see how it goes when Hiroki goes back to Nowaki's office, no?**

**Well then, time for sleep. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Erg, I've had quite the interesting day, some good things, and some bad. I don't feel like writing a really long AN, bleh. I'm trying to take in all the criticisms I get and changing a few things as I go along. There will be little changes made in previous chapters, but mostly just grammatical mistakes I caught along the way.**

Inside of the apartment, the bedroom as well as the kitchen and the living room, were practically silent. The lights were off, not a thing in the house appeared to have been touched. The book that Hiroki had been reading was still sitting on the couch, though the chestnut haired man was nowhere to be found. In the distance, the sound of the shower could be heard.

Hiroki had been in for what felt like an eternity for him, though it had only been an hour or so. The water heater hadn't been turned on, and so he was allowing the cold water to seep into his hair and soak his entire body. He watched his hands as they held a washcloth, blankly running it across his arms as the soap coated the red and purple outlines of the hands that were holding him down. When the suds would be rinsed from his body by the water, he found the evidence was still there and thus his torment continued. Looking at the marks only caused the mental images to continue to stew in his mind as well as Shinodas voice play over and over again in his mind.

_'Why do you try so hard? Look, he doesn't even care that you're having sex with someone else right in front of him. It would be much easier if you just chose me.'_

Even though Shinoda had said such a thing to try and persuade Hiroki to fall in love with him, the words were cutting through him like a hot knife through butter. His calm, serious and somewhat bitter demeanor was slipping as the tears fell freely from his eyes. He gripped the sides of his head, trying to ignore the sobs as they echoed, causing the entire room to be filled with the sounds of his crying. Never had he thought that someone, especially not in front of the man he loved, would ever rape him.

Sitting on the shower floor, he hoped that the water would not only numb his body, but his heart as well.

* * *

Hiroki walked out of the bathroom, dressed in his clothes while he stared at his hands. They were pruned and wrinkled, as well as tinted slightly blue from being in that cold water for so long. He didn't bother looking at the clock, since he didn't care for the time anyways. It was nighttime, and that's all that mattered to him really. He crawled into bed, curling up underneath the covers until he remembered who had been sleeping in the same place.

'_Akihiko…' _He thought solemnly, picking up one of the pillows from the bed and walking out to the couch, trying to keep as much contact away from the floor while he plopped down on the cushions, not even wanting to sleep considering how he had slept earlier on the floor after the two of them finished, not even sure when he had fallen asleep but definitely remembering how it was when he had woken up. Thinking back on it, he tried to imagine how Akihiko must've felt when he had woken up...

_Akihiko stirred in the bed, tossing a bit more as he slept in Hiroki's bed before he found himself not feeling any more fatigue and decided to wake. Sitting up in the bed, he stretched and gave a loud yawn before rubbing his eyes to remove any crusts from the corners. The room silent, he heard the sound of even breathing coming from below him and his eyes shifted to the sleeping brunette on the floor. Feeling a bit terrible considering Hiroki had slept on the floor rather than sleeping in the bed due to his selfishly taking it, he threw the covers off and bent down to wake his childhood friend up.  
_

_He saw as Hiroki gave a small groan, indicating that he could feel Akihiko's hands on him trying to drag him out of his slumber and instead turned over to face him. Akihiko nudged him once more, much rougher than the last time and the man seemed to respond to this, giving another groan before his eyes opened and he squinted as though he were trying to focus on something._

_"Finally, you're awake." Akihiko said, already having grown tired with trying to wake him. "Well, why don't you go sleep in your own bed now? You seem pretty tired."_

_Hiroki looked over at the man, his expression dull as though he were trying to process what had happened before it hit him._

_'Shinoda…he…we…' He couldn't even form a coherent thought as he looked absolutely horrified seeing Akihiko sitting next to him like this, looking down to see how he looked only to find that he was completely clothed though the evidence was there, the throbbing pain in his lower body as well as the sticky residue that caused his legs to stick together._

_Akihiko watched Hiroki's face change and his eyes look every which way instead of looking him directly in the eyes. "Hiroki, are you okay?" He asked, reaching a hand out to turn his direction towards him._

_"Don't you touch me!" Hiroki screamed, swatting Akihiko's hand away before he sat up and leaned his back against the bed, his arms wrapping around his own body while his head continued to face downwards. He was so embarrassed he didn't know what to do, especially since he couldn't tell Akihiko that he had been on the floor right next to him doing things like "that"._

_"Are you okay?" He could hear the concern in Akihiko's voice, which only made Hiroki feel even worse._

_"I'm fine just…go home."_

_"But Hiroki-"_

_"I said go home! Don't you get it? You fucking moron!" He didn't want to be mean like this, but he knew that If Akihiko stayed any longer, he definitely wouldn't be able to keep up this façade of his. After a moment of silence, Akihiko consented and merely left Hiroki to his own devices. It wasn't until he heard the sound of the door close that he finally moved, going from the bedroom to the bathroom to cleanse his body._

"Akihiko…"

* * *

The golden week had gone in a flash, the working class having started up all over again. Hiroki knew this, and dreaded leaving the house that morning. He hadn't had much of any sleep the entire week, scared of what his mind would show him once he had gone to sleep and instead using coffee as a way to keep himself awake. Stepping off of the couch, he walked over to the bathroom to shower and glanced over at his bed, shuddering once more. His focus as well as his balance had been completely off, causing him to stumble and trip over things while he walked, though he didn't care much anyways.

_'I just need to drink more coffee' _He thought. The last thing he wanted to do was sleep.

* * *

The brunette walked through the hallways at his job, staring blankly at his own feet while he walked, periodically walking right into another person and causing them to utter a small apology while he did as well though his voice had an obvious slur, one he tried to hide by mumbling. Opening the door to the literature office, he was met with his black-haired superior giving him a big smile and one of his too familiar greetings.

"Ah! Kamijo!" He said cheerfully, looking up from his newspaper where he had only seconds ago been whining about something he read about his astrology sign. Even though it had told him that he should watch out for things falling apart, he could always count on his colleague to make him feel all better. "Do you want something to drink?" He asked, picking up a coffee cup and grabbing the one Hiroki always kept in the office in case he requested some as well.

Hiroki shook his head, walking farther into the office. He had been trying to keep his balance, though that was ridiculously hard due to the lack of sleep.

Miyagi took notice of the swaying Hiroki did as, a concern starting to form in his heart as he walked in front of Hiroki. "Kamijo? Are you okay?"

"Y-Y-yes, I…I'm…fi-" Before he could even finish a sentence, the man was already headed face first for the other. Miyagi caught him before he could hit the ground, the concern starting to grow as he picked Hiroki up off of him and tried to stand him back up.

"Oi, Hiroki." He said, now using the others first name to try and alert him though his efforts were in vain. Hiroki's head just rolled forward, his entire body limp. "Hiroki!" Miyagi was shaking him forcefully now, the limp body showing no response whatsoever.

_'Oh my god…' _He thought, now panicking as he set the unconscious man down and promptly called for an ambulance. _'Dear god Kamijo, what happened to you?'_

**This is literally the shortest chapter we've got out here so far, but I wanted to try and get something out here before schoolwork eats away at my life some more. So, sorry guys! I'll try to get the next chapter up by this weekend, but no promises honestly. D:**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello all! Sorry for such a prolonged update, actually much longer than I thought it would be. But, then school started to really pour on as well as birthday parties and a few personal issues. I'm on now! I'm going to fix some mistakes in the last chapter, especially the format (italization, bolding, etc).**Miyagi sat in a chair, a hand on his lips while his fingers rapped the armrests. The fact that he couldn't smoke merely caused him further distress, since he really needed one. He didn't want to leave since he was afraid of what the doctor would come out and say, his heart sinking at the idea that it would be something terrible.

Now then, onwards with the story.

_'What could possibly cause Hiroki to just pass out like that? Did he catch something over the break? Damn it, this is what I get for leaving him alone for a whole week. He can't even watch over himself for a full day, let alone a week! Damn it!' _The questions as well as self-reprimands continued to invade Miyagi's mind, causing him to put his head down into his hands while he gave an exasperated sigh.

As he continued to hold his head in his hands, he felt a hand brush against him and he jumped back from the touch only to be met with a blonde haired man wearing a long white coat giving him a friendly smile in return. "Excuse me, are you Miyagi Yoh?" The doctor asked, watching as the worried expression on the man's face softened a bit.

"Yes, I am." He answered simply, leaning backwards to sit up and crossing one leg over the other, his arms crossing over each other as well. He glanced back over at the doctor who had yet to move, though Miyagi had hoped he would soon. The way the doctor was hovering over him was making him nervous. "Can I help you?"

This seemed to make the doctor's smile widen, now glad that he had gotten a response. "Yes actually," He began; taking out the chart he had tucked underneath his arm and opening It up. "You were the one that called the emergency number due to your colleague going unconscious, correct?"

"Yes." He had already grown tired of this twenty question game the two of them appeared to be playing, the annoyance apparent on his face. He just wanted to know if Hiroki was alright, and he had wished this doctor would stop prolonging the news. "Look, if you have any news, good or bad then why don't you go ahead and tell me?"

The doctor – who appeared as though he was going to ask another question – paused for a moment, and then went back to his chart and sighed. "Well, I had hoped that I would be able to dispel that worry you seemed to be lugging around on your sleeve." He joked, reaching to tap on Miyagi's arm softly. "But, if you want to be blunt then I just wanted to tell you that your friend is fine, he was found with an alarming amount of caffeine in his system and he's a bit dehydrated so we put him on an IV. It was apparent he had symptoms of sleep deprivation," He scrolled through his chart. "Decreased reaction time, decreased temperature…Did you ever notice how cold he was when you held him?"

"Not really, but he's not the touching type so I wasn't ever able to tell the difference," Miyagi stated. _'At least when he's sober and not out looking for a boytoy.' _He mentally added. "Well, is it okay to see him?"

"Oh yes, he's stable now. Still sleeping, but I'm sure he'll wake up soon." The doctor said, gesturing for Miyagi to follow him which he did gratefully. As they walked, there were no words exchanged. Only the sounds of offbeat footsteps could be heard echoing in the hallways. Soon enough, they had made It to the patients room. "Well, here it is."

"Ah, thank you doctor…" Miyagi trailed off, a bit embarrassed now that he never bothered to ask the person he had been talking to for quite some time what his name had been.

"Tsumori." The doctor finished his sentence, giving a friendly wave as he walked away and Miyagi giving one in return. Opening the door, he poked his head in to see a mess of brown hair on the pillow before he noticed the rest of the body. Seeing his friend and co-worker in such a state made his heart ache a little, and as much as he wanted to wake Hiroki up and ask him the questions that had been plaguing him for so long, he decided to hold off until Hiroki woke up by himself. Slipping the rest of his body in, he closed the door and walked over to sit down in the chair that was next to the bed. As he sat, the body in the bed stirred a bit and gave a light groan before stirring a bit more. Miyagi watched as the eyelids of the man in bed fluttered open, his expression appeared to be disoriented and then straight to panic as he jumped up in bed and looked around. His breathing became uneven, and then he grabbed his head in pain and gave a pained moan.

"Hey, don't go over-exerting yourself like that." Miyagi said, putting a hand on Hiroki's shoulder. He appeared to have calmed down from the touch, the grip on his head loosening a bit as his head turned to face Miyagi once more.

"What the hell? What am I doing here? Augh, my head hurts so much." Hiroki groaned, trying to massage his temples and dispel the throbbing pain that was searing throughout his entire head.

"You collapsed at work and caused me to go into a frenzy, which I then called the emergency number and they had to come get you since you were unconscious for a good 30 minutes." Miyagi replied, trying to sound nonchalant while he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back. His gaze went to the brunettes' face that held an expression of exhaustion.

"Oh, sorry for worrying you then." Hiroki said, leaning back down into the bed. He hadn't even realized how tired or close to breaking down he was until now. _'Maybe coffee wasn't a good idea. But, I didn't even want to sleep really…' _His thoughts were interrupted by the now serious tone of Miyagi speaking to him.

"Hiroki, what the heck happened to you? I know you've been going through a bit of a rough patch what with Akihiko's love for Takahiro growing and so you've been doing things that I know you aren't proud of but this is the worst I've ever seen you. You actually looked like you were getting better after going to see that therapist." Miyagi didn't want to sound like he was lecturing him; he really just wanted to help though it seemed a bit hard if he didn't know what was going on.

"Well," Hiroki began. He wasn't sure how he was going to explain it, since it was a little difficult saying that you were raped by someone that you used to fuck constantly who was head over heels in love with you and yet you only wanted their body. "Things just got a little worse between a friend of mine and I, that's all." He partially lied.

"A friend of yours, huh?" Miyagi said, looking down at his shoes. Something in him wanted to continue pestering Hiroki until he got more detail than that vague statement. Though, he knew that bothering Hiroki anymore wouldn't end well for either of them, so he merely accepted what he was given and he would investigate later on. "Well, why don't you stay here and rest? I'll handle your work as of right now. Think of it as a way of me paying you back for taking care of all of my work." He joked, standing up and making his way to the door.

Hiroki tried to force a smile, instead only one end of his lips curling and causing him to smirk. He gave a wave to Miyagi as he exited, stopping as he heard the sound of the door open and close. His face returned to its neutrality, looking down at the IV that was inserted into his arm and grimacing at the sight. He knew he needed someone to talk to, more than ever before. He moved his head around, looking for his cell phone before frowning once he realized that he had been stripped down from what he was wearing once he had gotten to the school in to the hospital slips that most patients wore.

_'Damn it.' _He thought angrily, looking around for the buzzer in which to call his doctor so that he could get out. As he moved his head every which way, his mobility slightly limited due to the needle in his arm, the sound of the doorknob turning could be heard. He turned his head quickly, being met with a wide-eyed doctor that looked as though he had seen a ghost.

"Oh my, you're already awake?" He asked, walking over to the chart at the end of Hiroki's bed and scanning the pages a bit. "I'm surprised, what with the condition you came in and all. I personally thought you would be out for at least a few more hours." He said, looking up at Hiroki who was watching him like a hawk.

"…Is my condition well enough to go home?" Hiroki asked, the doctor glancing up from his chart. Hiroki knew the answer well enough once the blonde haired man set the chart down.

"Not particularly, you're a lot weaker right now than you think you are…So much that if we were to let you go home, it would be in our worst interest since you might relapse. Of course, that's not always the case but we just like to make sure. You were living off of cups of coffee, after all." The last sentence he spoke seemed to sting right where it needed to, as he saw Hiroki jump in response. He looked as though he wanted to say something to argue back, and then stopped once he realized the argument would be invalid.

"I understand…" He muttered, his plans now ruined due to his stay in the hospital.

"I'm terribly sorry, sir." The doctor apologized, frowning once he saw the disheartened face of his patient. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Hiroki looked up at him, remembering the cell phone he had been looking for. "Er, may I have my cell phone then?"

The doctor shook his head, "I can't allow that. They disrupt a lot of the things we use in the hospital, such as pacemakers." He said, putting his arms up as though to say sorry.

Hiroki sighed, his plan now completely ruined.

"Is it important? I may be able to relay a message if you would like." The doctor said with a grin, trying to bring the man's hopes back up. The attempt was successful, seeing as how Hiroki looked back up at him and nodded.

"It is…er, I need you to call this number…arg, might I borrow that pen of yours?" He asked, pointing to the pen stashed behind the doctors ear. The doctor handed him the pen, to which Hiroki took the doctors arm and wrote down a number. "I need you to call this number and just tell the woman that you're calling on behalf of a Kamijo Hiroki, they'll know why you're calling. And just say that I need him to make a hospital visit. Alright?"

The doctor stared at the number on his arm in bewilderment, and then accepted the deed that he was given and gave Hiroki and reassuring smile before exiting the room.

_'He better come.' _Hiroki thought, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest.

* * *

Nowaki sat in his office, flipping through a book that he had been reading to occupy his time while he checked his schedule. Today had been a slow day for him, since he didn't have a lot of appointments to tend to and so he was a bit relaxed since he had been working even through golden week since internal and external conflicts never take a rest.

Just as he closed the book, finished with reading it and about to start on another, his door opened and his secretary poked her head in.

"Ah, hello." He said with a smile, looking up to face her.

"Dr. Kusama. We got a call from a Tsumori-san up at Tokyo Hospital. He said that one of his patients, Kamijo Hiroki was requesting your assistance."

Nowaki's eyes widened at hearing this, his heart beat increasing as he thought about the patient he hadn't seen in almost a week. Every possible situation flashed through his mind, his breathing becoming labored as he panicked. He didn't want to think that, after a whole month of progress and therapy, his patient had tried to end it all.

He went back to the appointment book, seeing that his next one was hours away. _'I've still got time then…' _He thought, closing the book and picking his things up.

_'Please be okay, please be okay…' _

**Dear gosh this took me forever to write. And I don't even know why, it just did. It was a bit difficult to write, though I hope that you all still like it either way. I know what I will do with the next chapter, but that one won't be up for at least another week. School has to be first priority, sadly. But, the week of the 21****st**** is our thanksgiving break, so I shall totally be updating then! :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**So, it is currently 6:30pm on my end here (Central US time anyways), and so I decided either to A) read yaoi or B) update…obviously I love you guys too much haha. XD**

Hiroki sat in the hospital room, staring at the white sheets in a daze as he waited for the doctor to return. It had been a good hour now, and according to the time he was to be fed lunch since he couldn't go out and get food for himself. His eyes went back down to the IV in his arm, and he glared at it as though it was the cause of his malnutrition. _'If I can take in a lot of vitamins and minerals to get better then…they'll let me go, right?' _He thought, putting a hand to his face to cover his mouth as he thought. The sound of his stomach growling filled the room, and his patience only shortened as he heard it.

Reaching for the calling button, he was going to press it before he heard footsteps approaching his room. His hand receded from the button, assuming that it was a nurse coming with his food. The sound of the footsteps became louder and louder, and as Hiroki listened, he noticed that the footsteps were much faster than that of a nurse with a tray of food. _'What the hell?'_

The door opened harshly, making a slamming sound as it connected with the wall. Hiroki felt a pang of fear in his heart, inching backwards in the bed as the panting from the mysterious person entered the room. The stranger had yet to walk forward to reveal whom they were, and Hiroki was growing more anxious as he waited.

"H-Hello?" He asked, trying to calm his shaking voice. His hand started to go for the button once more, this time to call someone who might help him before he heard the gentle voice speak.

"W…wait" The man said between pants, still trying to calm his rapidly beating heart from the running as well as the worry that had been enveloping him since he left his office.

Hiroki stopped, taking his hand back as relief replaced the fear, now knowing that it was the person he had called almost an hour ago to come to his aid. He tried to make his voice sound more presentable, changing it from the terrified one he had spoken in only minutes ago. "Kusama-san?" He asked, hoping that it was whom he had thought it was.

Nowaki – now physically calmer – walked into view. He saw Hiroki surrounded by all of the medical equipment and his heart sank. He felt better knowing that Hiroki wasn't as bad as he had expected, but the fact that the man was still in the hospital still touched that philanthropist inside of him. He hadn't even realized how surprised yet worried his expression had turned until Hiroki started to speak again.

"Hey, are you alright?"

Nowaki nodded, shaking his head as he realized how his expression might have looked and changing it to a big smile. "Yes, yes I'm fine. It's just, when they called me and said that you were in the hospital I just assumed the worst." He laughed, trying to brighten the mood. "I'm glad to see that you're alright, or as alright as I had hoped you would be."

Hiroki nodded, turning away to hide his face as he blushed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, hearing that Nowaki was so worried about him made him happy. So happy, in fact, that he could have smiled if he wasn't so shy of showing his face or such a simple gesture of happiness at that.

"Well, thank you." He muttered, looking down at his hands while Nowaki took the liberty to sit down in the chair next to him.

"Er…Hiroki-san." Nowaki said, now fiddling with his own fingers as he tried to think of a way to ask without offending the other.

"You want to ask why I'm here, don't you?" Hiroki asked, looking over at Nowaki who stared at him as though he could read minds. He shook his head and sighed. "The question is practically written all over your face."

"Well, I'm just genuinely curious…"

"It's fine, I did ask them to call you here." He began, shifting uncomfortably. "I don't know what else to do with myself, I'm even too scared to fall asleep since It just keeps coming back to me." He buried his face into his hands.

"What keeps coming back? Hiroki-san, did something happen?" Nowaki asked, leaning in to get a glimpse of Hiroki's face as he saw him start to physically tremble.

"The images…of me…and him…in front of Akhiko…oh god." Hiroki didn't expect to get this sense of regret come back to him all over again once he started to talk about it. His body shook while he held back the tears, remembering how he sat in the shower for so long and the bruises that covered his whole body.

Nowaki saw how Hiroki's composure started to slip, the severities of the situation becoming all too clear to him now. He reached a hand out to touch the man on the shoulder, Hiroki's shaking stopping abruptly at the contact. Hiroki continued to keep his head in his hands, knowing that if he looked up then he would certainly begin to sob.

"In front of Akihiko? What happened? Hiroki-san…you can tell me anything, I promise." Nowaki spoke soothingly, trying to console Hiroki as he started to become a mess of undone nerves.

Hiroki didn't calm down in the least, which only caused Nowaki to feel even more torture in his heart as he watched Hiroki fall apart. He couldn't think of any way to help him, mostly since he didn't know what was wrong.

Hiroki didn't want to speak, not anymore. He knew he had called Nowaki to come to him, but now as he started to talk about it, the impact was much greater than he had thought. So much that he didn't want to talk about it, but instead kept quiet. Lost in his own little world, he didn't notice Nowaki inching closer to him until he felt a large pair of arms wrap around his small body and his head sink into a warm body, the sound of the others heartbeat entering his ears.

_'What?' _he thought, removing his hands from his face as he looked up at the noirette who had buried his face into the brunettes hair.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't think of any other way to calm you down." Nowaki spoke apologetically, rubbing Hiroki's arm as he spoke. "I just want to know what's wrong, it's my job of course but also…I'm worried about you, Hiroki-san. I've been worried about you since I met you. Is it so wrong?"

Hiroki shook his head against Nowaki's chest; the gentle touch causing different emotions start to well up inside of him. The tears that he had been keeping inside fell freely onto Nowaki's shirt. "It's okay…" He whispered, his hand grabbing onto Nowaki's arm. "Shinoda…he…he raped me…" Hiroki spoke between small sobs; the pain of keeping it held in left him as soon as it had come.

Nowaki continued to hold Hiroki, now gentler than before as he heard the smaller man admit it. He didn't want to yell, even though he was secretly angry just at the thought of people forcing themselves onto someone else, especially someone like Hiroki who was already lost in another love. Instead of asking any more questions, assuming the questions would deepen the scar from the trauma, the two just sat in silence.

Hiroki started to grow more comfortable in the mans arms, almost falling asleep before he was started back awake by the movement of Nowaki as he let him go slowly, putting him back down onto the bed.

"Huh?" He said groggily, turning over to look at Nowaki who was starting to grab his things. "You're leaving already?" He asked, watching as Nowaki turned around with surprise to see that he was still awake.

"Yes, I'm sorry." He apologized. "My other clients do need my help, and I want to help you as much as I want to help them but…" He paused, going to his bag and rummaging through it before he found a small notepad and a pen. "Here." He said, writing something down onto the sheet of paper and handing it to Hiroki. "It's my personal phone number, since I can't be in the office all of the time and you may need my help again…I'm always here to talk." He said with a smile while Hiroki looked down at the sheet of paper. With that, he left the room.

Hiroki looked down at the sheet of paper, without saying a word, he folded it up and put it down next to him.

* * *

Hiroki had been confined to the hospital for another day, the doctors monitoring his health every few hours to be sure he was eating right as well as sleeping. After they were sure he was fine, they allowed him to go.

He walked outside of the large building, now glad that he was able to leave that alarmingly white room back into the world of color. He never noticed how warm the sunlight was until he had been away from it for so long, now taking it all in with a sigh. He stared up at the sky, watching the clouds roll by as he stood outside of the hospital. He began to reminisce about the times that he would fly kites with Akihiko, getting lost in his daydreams. He was quickly brought back to reality by the sound of a honking car. Startled, he looked over to see the infamous red sports car of his childhood friend.

"Hiroki!" Akihiko called, although he was sure that Hiroki heard him.

"Oh, if it isn't the great lord Usami?" Hiroki said sarcastically, putting a hand on his hip while he stood in his usual stance of feigned annoyance.

"Well, you certainly seem to be better." Akihiko muttered. "Get in, I'll take you home." He ordered, gesturing for Hiroki to get inside.

_'That's just like you.' _Hiroki thought, walking over to the car and getting in voluntarily. Before he could even buckle himself in, Akihiko had already started off again.

"I heard you had been in the hospital." Akihiko stated bluntly, not bothering with the details. "They wouldn't tell me where you were, so I decided to just drive around the ones close to your job until I found you."

_'Why do you care?' _Hiroki thought, putting his arm down onto the car door while he stared out of the window. "I was, it wasn't anything big. Just some minor health problems" He lied.

"I don't think minor health problems result in you going unconscious for half an hour and being in the hospital for a day and a half." Akihiko retorted, pulling out a cigarette from the box and lighting it up.

"It's not too un-natural." Hiroki mumbled.

"Are you sure there isn't anything going on?" Akihiko asked, trying to elicit an answer from the tired brunette.

"I'm positive." Hiroki hissed, sounding much more annoyed than he should have. He wasn't trying to be mean, he just didn't want to talk about it anymore.

The two of them continued to sit in silence for the rest of the car ride, neither wanting to say anything to the other as they both seemed to agree that talking wasn't the best thing to do right now. As the car pulled into Hiroki's apartment complex, Hiroki started to fiddle with the car lock as to get out of the awkward situation as quickly as possible.

"Hiroki," Akihiko spoke softly, interrupting Hiroki's attempt at escape for a moment. His hand went to Hiroki's hair, causing Hiroki to look back at him. Akihiko gave a small smile, with a hint of sadness as he continued. "…Take care of yourself, alright?"

Hiroki didn't know what to say, since he had never seen such an expression on his friend in the amount of time that he had known him. He gave a nod in return, not saying anything else as he opened the door and closed it just as quickly. Akihiko waved before pulling out of the space and driving away.

_'You're too kind…'_

_

* * *

_

**_Hiroki cried out into his hand, trying to muffle the sounds he was making while Shinoda hit his sweet spot over and over again, trying to coax Hiroki's voice out of him._**

**_They had been at it for almost an hour now, Hiroki's face stained with tears and sweat as he tried to ignore the pleasure that was radiating throughout his whole body that was even overpowering the fear he felt that his friend would wake up at any moment._**

**_"You love this, don't you? You keep trying to pretend that you don't, but everytime I do this," as he spoke the last word, he thrust into Hiroki to which he gave another agonized moan. "You moan like the little slut you really are. There's no difference from all of the other times we've done it, except for this time it's next to your beloved Usami-san…how does it feel?"_**

**_'No…no!'_**

"No!" Hiroki screamed, jumping up in bed in a cold sweat. He put a hand to his chest, feeling his own racing heartbeat. He glanced over at the clock, which read 11:30. He had only been asleep for two hours now, and much to his dismay he knew he wouldn't be getting to sleep anytime soon.

'_Damn it.' _He thought, putting a hand to his face. He got up to go to the restroom, opening the door and flipping the light switch while the white light filled the room. _'I just need to clear my head is all.' _He thought, turning the water on and splashing a bit onto his face before reaching for a towel and wiping his face dry. As his gaze went to the mirror, he grimaced at the sight. His hair was disheveled as well as his eyes carrying large dark circles underneath them; he didn't want to look anymore. He walked towards the door and turned the lights off behind him, looking over at the end table where the folded up sheet of paper sat.

Picking it up, he unfolded it and saw the number written on the inside. He continued to stare at it, as though he were thinking of what to do as he picked up his cell phone that sat next to it. _'It wouldn't hurt to call…' _He thought, reassuring himself that what he was doing wasn't a bad thing as he dialed the number on the paper.

The phone rang a few times, the ringing stopping as the sound of shuffling could be heard then the sleepy voice of the therapist.

"Hello?"

This took me like, hours to write. I feel like I'm getting rusty, but I think I will get better once I finally get caught up in all of my schoolwork. Hopefully it will be soon. Well, turkey day break this week! So, fast update? I hope so. :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Someone pointed out something interesting to me that I didn't really bother to notice myself. So far the whole Hiroki to Nowaki appearances have been like 9 to 1 (on a scale of 10). I'm going to change that, right now. :D Thanksgiving break is almost over, and three weeks until Christmas Break, I can't wait! Until then….story time.**

Nowaki sat on the other end of the phone, listening to the shaky breathing on the other end. This alerted him more than before; making him wonder who the mysterious person was that was on the phone. "Hello?" He spoke again, now sounding less tired and more curious.

There were the small sounds of little chokes, some of them coming out as stuttered bits of words. Whoever was calling him sounded extremely nervous, which only made Nowaki try not to laugh at this bashful prankster. "I don't mean to be rude, but I do need my sleep. Whoever this is, please do try to gather your courage before trying a stunt like this again." He pulled the phone away from his ear to hang it up before he heard a loud noise coming from the phone.

"Wait!" Hiroki yelled, hoping that Nowaki had heard him. He didn't want Nowaki to hang up on him, at least not until he got what he wanted to say out. He cursed himself for being so nervous, especially since he was never one to get so nervous around anyone before. "I-I-I can't sleep."

Nowaki paused, listening to the voice on the other end. He recognized it immediately, a smile creeping along his somewhat tired face. He pulled the phone back to his ear and spoke softly. "Hiroki-san?" He asked.

"Yes…" Hiroki muttered, shifting uncomfortably on his end.

"What's wrong?" Nowaki asked, now already sitting up in his bed. He looked down at his own attire, realizing that talking to one of his clients on the phone with a shirt off and a pair of sweatpants was rather strange. As he shuffled out of bed, he listened intently for Hiroki to begin speaking.

"I just told you, I can't sleep." Hiroki said, sounding a bit vexed that Nowaki would ask him even though he just said it.

Nowaki laughed at Hiroki's simple response, slipping a t-shirt over his head while he began his walk to the kitchen to get a glass of water. "I understand that. What I meant was why you can't sleep."

Hiroki looked down at his phone, trying to form an answer to that question. '_I could just say that I had a bad dream, but then where would that lead me? I would sound like a little kid!_' He thought, a blush forming on his cheeks as he sat on his bed, too embarrassed to answer.

Nowaki noticed the silence, reaching into the cabinet to grab a glass. The silence caused him to infer that whatever it was had to have been something terrible, he made the choice to instead try to joke about it until he got it right. "Did you have a nightmare, Hiroki-san?" He said, trying to sound as friendly as possible as he spoke. He listened to the little gulp that Hiroki made on the other end, coming to the conclusion that he was closer to figuring it out than he was before.

Hiroki, on the other end, gulped as Nowaki asked this question. '_How could he have been so right-on-the-mark?_' He thought, clenching the phone in his hands as he blush on his face deepened. He continued to sit in silence for a moment, listening to Nowaki breathe in as he was about to speak once more. Hiroki took the opportunity to cut him off. "Y-y-yes."

Nowaki's eyes widened at how correct his joke had been, taking sips from his glass of water he walked to his couch and sat down. "Was it about…" He trailed off; hoping that Hiroki would be able to understand what the rest of the question was without him having to talk about it.

"Yes." Hiroki answered quickly, already knowing what Nowaki was going to ask. He didn't want to talk about why he had dreamt such a thing, since Nowaki knew as well as he did.

Nowaki thought fast, remembering something on the small list of things his mother would do for him whenever he had nightmares. "Hiroki, what's your favorite color?" He asked.

Hiroki paused, taking the time to think about it since not a person had ever asked him such a question before. At least not as an adult, since he went through many different favorite colors as a child. He looked around the room, noticing the green curtains and then thinking back to a pair of pajamas he had that he was extremely fond of that were green. "Green, I guess." He replied.

Nowaki mentally logged this answer, thinking that he could use It to his advantage in helping Hiroki once more. "Okay, now I want you to think of your favorite food."

Hiroki looked at the phone, confused as to why Nowaki was asking all of these questions. "Where are we supposed to be going with this?"

"Oh don't worry about it, Hiroki-san. Just do it, it's fun I promise." Nowaki assured him.

Hiroki decided to leave the question alone, doing what Nowaki had asked. He looked around the room, hoping that he would be able to find some form of inspiration. His eyes went to a dusty cookbook on his shelf among all of the other piles of books he had, which then brought him back to why he had bought it in the first place. He hadn't a clue in the slightest how to make sushi at the time, and thinking back on it he couldn't help but chuckle. Sushi was something his mother used to make for him all of the time, even his father when his mother wasn't around. It was so much that his parents would call him a sushi monster, and they would joke that his green pajamas represented seaweed and –due to his fair complexion as a child- he was the rice. "I like sushi, any kinds really."

Nowaki set the cup down, now having finished all of the water. "Okay, then what's your favorite animal?"

Hiroki started to think. He didn't exactly have one, or at least one fhat he was extremely fond of. "Hmm…" He said aloud, thinking. He then remembered one book that he had once read that Akihiko had bought him named 'Why some parts of the panda are black and for what purpose'. Deciding to go with that animal, he answered "Pandas are nice."

Nowaki smiled softly, thinking, 'Even_ if he's a bit of a sourpuss, sounds like he has a soft spot for cute things.' _He couldn't help but laugh to himself. He stood to go fill his up back up with water and began to talk again. "Now, I want you to imagine a green panda eating sushi."

"What kind of a crazy-"Hiroki began, his face holding an expression that was a mixture of flabbergast and confusion.

"Just do it, Hiroki-san. I promise you, it's funny when you actually think about it."

Hiroki thought for a moment, trying to imagine a panda with dark green where the black spots would be as well as lime green fur where the white would fill it in while it stuffed its face with different types of sushi. The stuffed cheeks only made the image look absolutely ridiculous, causing Hiroki to snicker loudly to himself.

"Hiroki-san?" Nowaki asked, hearing Hiroki make sounds like that filled him with joy. He liked knowing that he could make him laugh, and at least it was distracting him from the nightmare he had.

The more Hiroki thought about it, the more he started to chuckle. "I'm sorry. I just thought about it and you're right, it's actually pretty funny." As he finished his sentence, he started to laugh more to himself.

Nowaki smiled into the phone, "I'm glad to see I could make you laugh." He said gleefully. "Well, why don't you tell me about why you like the color green?" Nowaki said, trying to change the subject quickly as to keep Hiroki interested.

"When I was a child…" Hiroki began, his mind going back to his memories.

* * *

"…And once I met that Takahashi guy, I knew something was going to change about Akihiko and I." Hiroki finished his sentence, and then yawned loudly into the phone.

"Are you tired, Hiroki-san?" Nowaki asked, now laying down on the couch as he listened intently to Hiroki's stories.

"Getting there." He replied, giving another yawn as he rubbed his eyes to stop his eyelids from drooping for even a moment. He glanced over at the clock, noticing that it was now 1:00 am. The two of them had been talking for over an hour now, and he hadn't even noticed since he was too busy having little conversation with Nowaki. "I didn't think I would get so tired so quickly." Hiroki said, stretching as he did so.

"It's because you were talking to me." Nowaki teased, listening to the small 'urk' noise the other made on the line. At that, he could almost see the red tint in Hiroki's cheeks.

"I-I-It was not! I was just up for a while, and I got tired that's all! Don't get a big head!" Hiroki retorted, his cheeks indeed crimson as he tried to make a complete sentence. He couldn't believe how strongly he felt himself reacting to what Nowaki had said. "I-I'm going to bed! Goodnight!"

"Wait!" Nowaki said, trying to stop Hiroki from hanging up on him.

"Yes?" Hiroki asked, putting the phone back to his ear.

"Are you free tomorrow?"

"Well, they've given me an extra day off because of my condition so far."

"Then would you like to go somewhere tomorrow? Anywhere you would like is fine, my treat as your present for getting better." Nowaki said with a smile.

Hiroki heard this, thinking it over for a moment. He put a hand over his mouth, thinking quite hard about Nowaki's invitation before his eyes widened and the corners of his lips started to curl upwards. "I want to go to the aquarium." He said. "I've always wanted to go as a child, and my parents wouldn't let me because of how many things I had to do. But, I want to go." Hiroki stated, his tone sounding almost demanding.

"Then I'll look up times and call you in the morning." Nowaki said cheerfully, listening to Hiroki's yawning on the other side of the phone. "Goodnight." With that, he hung up the phone.

Hiroki found himself becoming extremely excited, now looking forward to the morning. _'At least, I'm sure that I'm happy going to the aquarium. Not that I'm happy to be going out somewhere with my therapist or anything.' _He thought, setting the phone down onto to the nightstand while he went back to bed, his dreams now filled with images of green pandas.

**So, I think this chapter was a little silly but I wanted to make it super cute and fluff filled. I hope that the pacing is okay, I don't want to make them fall in love with the snap of your fingers. I refuse to give any clues to what's going to happen next though, it might possibly be freaking adorable though! I'm sorry for the short chapter, especially since I took a bit of a break. Please forgive me. :(**


	10. Chapter 10

**So hey guys, so sorry for the extremely late update. This was actually supposed to be written quite some time ago, and there was always this little buzzing in the back of my brain that said "You need to update!" And then the giant blaring of the front and sides of my brain that said "DO YOUR HOMEWORK. DO YOU WANT TO FAIL?" So, had to side with that. Haha. Alright, enough of my excuses. Onto the story. :D **The sun started to peak its head from underneath the blanket of land and buildings that it hid behind, enveloping the land in an orange-tinted light that started to cover said buildings and sink into them as well.

A raven-black haired man was lying in his bed, sleeping soundly as the light crept through his window, causing everything that was of a dull, dark color begin to brighten into warm pastels as it made its way through the room. The heat that radiated from the warm colors began to affect the sleeping man, his eyelids twitching through not fully opening. It was not until he felt the light begin to shine down onto his face that the lids lifted slowly, his irises meeting with the light and illuminating those navy blue beauties. His pupil shrank at the contact, causing him to groan softly in pain while he rolled over to look down at his cell phone that sat on his pillow. He saw that the time was half past 8'o clock, his mind deciding that this was a good time for him to wake up as he felt the drowsiness begin to sink out of his body.

_'Aquarium…' _His mind said, the word echoing as though it were some kind of mantra he was making sure to follow. He slipped out of bed, trudging to the living room as his eyes scanned around for the item he was looking for. His eyes met the coffee table, where a large black bag sat. "Ah-ha!" He said to himself, picking it up and taking out a small computer. After opening the screen and turning it on, he stood back up to make his way to the kitchen. His hands reached up to grab the small handle, opening the door to pull out a small container that read 'Instant coffee' before making his way back to the computer and opening up the internet.

As he began to type in the words, he smiled excitedly to himself at the thought of the person he was going to be spending the day with.

* * *

Hiroki sat on his couch, staring at the cell phone on the coffee table. He hadn't realized how anxious he was to get the call from this man, especially over something so little as going to the aquarium.

_'Since when have I ever been so excited to do anything?' _He thought, putting a hand to his chin as he allowed his mind to go through the archives of memory in his brain. The only thing he could think of was when Akihiko had invited him to one of those fancy parties as his "date", even though in reality he just didn't want to go by himself and being around someone the whole party made it a little easier on him since people were always prone to approaching him alone.

_'Well, he only did that because Takahiro was too busy with his girlfriend.' _He said with a sigh, remembering that he was merely a second choice. He was brought out of his thoughts at the sound of the phone ringing on the table. His reflexes worked faster than his brain, causing him to lunge for the phone and nearly break something in the process as he grabbed it quickly and flipped it open. "Hello?"

"Hiroki? I assumed you would have been sleeping by now." Nowaki said, sounding confused as to why Hiroki was up so early.

"Ah, I-I-I jus thought getting up early would be the best choice today!" Hiroki lied, then his mind processed that Nowaki had indeed called him to him without honorifics. "Who said you couldn't say '-san' at the end?"

Nowaki gulped, realizing that it was indeed impolite. "I'm sorry, I apologize. It's just…calling you Hiroki-san is terribly long, and I feel as though it makes me feel more and more distanced from you. Today, we're just going out as friends, right?"

Hiroki heard that last part, his cheeks burning red with response. Of course, it wasn't as though he hadn't ever had friends before but he hardly ever actually went somewhere with them. There was never a time he could remember going anywhere with Miyagi, and the last time he had been with Akihiko it wasn't even really a friendly thing. Yet, hearing those words come from Nowaki made him so happy he didn't even know what to do with himself. Even so, his silence was starting to seem prolonged which in turn caused Nowaki to become concerned.

"Hiro-san?" He asked.

Hiroki replied quickly, trying to ignore the butterflies that were making their home in his stomach. "Oh, I'm fine!" He said, laughing sheepishly as though to reinforce the idea.

"Well, that's good." Nowaki said with a big smile. "I just wanted to let you know that the aquarium opens in two hours, and if we meet up about thirty minutes after it's opened we can still beat the crowd. Then afterwards, we could possibly go around town for a bit, if you wouldn't mind."

Hiroki hadn't expected this, since he assumed Nowaki would leave him after the Aquarium. Even so, the idea of being with him a little longer was extremely appealing. "…I don't."

"I shall see you soon then, Hiro-san." Nowaki said, now proud of this new nickname he had given Hiroki and even happier that Hiroki didn't mind it in the least. With that, he hung up the phone.

* * *

Hiroki stood in front of the aquarium, blushing fiercely as he thought about how embarrassed he was to have arrived 15 minutes earlier than they had planned. _'It's all because I went and got all excited!' _He practically berated himself for doing so, now standing alone in front of the giant building. He felt the need to check his watch every few minutes as the time left for their meeting decreased, making him feel more and more nervous to be with him.

"Hiro-san!" He heard the voice call out to him, choosing not to look as to hide his excitement. As much as he tried to ignore it, it was much too hard once the pair of large arms wrapped around him and held him close.

Hiroki couldn't help but feel even more embarrassed, especially at the amount of people that saw this display and now stared at him questioningly. "Jeez, you moron! Don't go hugging me in public!" He scolded, pushing Nowaki away and turning away from him as to not see the disheartened look that he knew Nowaki had been giving him as of right now.

"Okay." Was all Nowaki replied, his tone changing from the excited one that he had called Hiroki's name in.

Hiroki detected this change, now feeling even worse for pushing him away. He then turned around to grab Nowaki's hand, holding it tightly while Nowaki stared at him with widened eyes. "What-"

"We have to go in there, don't we? And I don't want you separating from me, so don't let go of my hand." Hiroki said, now red to his ears as his head was turned away from Nowaki yet his eyes made their way to his face. The smile he had seemed to outshine the sun, causing the happiness to well back up inside of Hiroki.

"Okay!" Nowaki replied again, back to his extremely cheerful self.

* * *

Hiroki held Nowaki's hand a he pointed at the different colors of fish that floated through the tank. He couldn't help but smile at the sight, even though he wasn't sure if he was so happy because he was finally at the aquarium, or if it was because of the man he was currently holding hands with.

"Aren't they beautiful, Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked, pointing to the Moorish Idols that swam leisurely through the water in big groups.

At the sight, Hiroki's eyes widened a bit as he hadn't noticed those fish before. The patterns of blacks, yellows and oranges were extremely appealing to him as he could only nod in response to Nowaki's question.

While Hiroki was entranced by the fish, Nowaki pulled out the small map in his pocket and began to look for different attractions to go see. "Hiro-san, they have a whole floor dedicated to fish that practically live at the bottom of the ocean. That sounds interesting, do you want to go see?"

Hiroki gave a small noise to confirm, allowing Nowaki to take him by the hand and drag him around. _'He's got such large hands…I never really noticed until now.' _Hiroki thought, staring at Nowaki's hand in a daze. _'They're really warm too.'_

As the two of them walked around the dark floor, Nowaki looked at the people around while Hiroki continued to watch the fish in amazement. In the dark, it was terribly difficult to see anything, yet there was one person that stood out to him. A man with silvery-blonde hair stood next to another man, the man's hair being as dark as Nowaki's since he couldn't make out the color yet he could see the glasses he wore in the dim light. He felt as though he was familiar with the man, though he couldn't put a finger on it.

_'Do I know him? No, he's not that familiar…Where have I seen him before?' _As he continued to think, he heard Hiroki's voice calling to him.

"Nowaki!" He said, now angry that he had to call him a third time.

"Ah, Yes! I'm sorry Hiro-san, I was too busy thinking." Nowaki apologized, giving a sheepish smile while he still thought. It was a thought that wouldn't leave him alone, especially since he was sure he knew who it was. His mind flashed back to the bookshelf in his office, one book in particular. One titled 'World Nostalgia'

_'Usami Akihiko. That's the man who-' _He cut his own thoughts short as he looked back at the man, he was as sure as he could be that it was the same man that currently held Hiroki's heart.

"Nowaki, what are you looking at?" Hiroki asked, turning around only to have Nowaki turn his attention back to him and, before Hiroki had a complete idea as to what was going on, Nowaki already had his lips pressed to Hiroki's. Hiroki stared wide-eyed, confused by this contact before closing them, trying to stop all of the thoughts running through his mind at one time.

Nowaki opened one eye too glance at Akihiko, who was walking by and looking at some of the fish they had been looking at only to notice the couple kissing and squinting slightly to get a better look before his expression immediately went to surprised as he recognized his childhood friend. He then looked up at Nowaki who was looking back.

Hiroki pushed Nowaki away, gasping for air before glaring at Nowaki fiercely. "What do you think you're doing?" Hiroki asked, trying not to raise his voice.

"Hiroki?" He heard the voice of his childhood friend call out to him, causing him to turn around and see Akihiko's confused expression.

"Wait, this isn't what it looks like." Hiroki started to explain.

"It's fine, I understand Hiroki." Akihiko said, turning around to go meet with Takahiro who had been calling him for a few moments now.

"Wait!" Hiroki said, now chasing after Akihiko as he didn't bother to look back at Nowaki.

**I'm stopping it here, as A) My laptop is dying and I don't have a charger for it. And B) I think it's a good spot to stop. I do hope you guys like this chapter though! :D**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, so this time I'm updating my current project. :D I don' t have a lot to say here, but I'm going to make it a goal of mine to at least update both stories 4 times over this 2 week break (Preferably 2 per story). Even if it means I have to force myself too. XD I have no work to do over the break, so this shouldn't be a problem.**

Nowaki watched Hiroki run, a dull pain starting to pool in the pit of his stomach that caused the rest of his body to follow suit. Never did he think he would actually feel so insanely jealous of that man that Hiroki was so enamored with, nor did he ever think he would ever have the desire to try to turn Hiroki away from that man as much as possible.

Before his mind could form a coherent thought, he was already chasing after Hiroki who was currently out of the exhibit and talking to Akihiko outside. Seeing the two of them together made that dull pain become much rougher as he watched Hiroki fumble over his words while Akihiko listened intently. He walked quickly over to Hiroki, grabbing him by the arm and looking up at Akihiko with a look that was akin to disdain.

"Nowaki what are you doing? Can't you see I'm in the middle of a conversation?" Hiroki said angrily, genuinely vexed that Nowaki would interrupt a conversation between him and his love.

"Excuse me, Akihiko-san. We are currently on a date, and so we don't have much time to play around today." Nowaki said with a plastic smile, watching Akihiko's expression change as he contemplated the things Hiroki just told him compared to what he sees. He glanced over at Hiroki, who merely stared at Nowaki with his mouth wide open, his eyebrows so high into his forehead they were basically overshadowed by his bangs.

"W-w-what?" Hiroki sputtered, looking at Akihiko to explain. "Wait, there's a reason for this." Hiroki began, hoping that he could re-explain.

Akihiko shook his head. "There's no need to, Hiroki. You don't have to be so embarrassed by it you know, its fine." He stated factually, looking down at his watch to check the time, and then looking to his right where his black haired guest was still standing and waiting for him. "If you'll excuse me, Hiroki, I really have to go. You two have fun." He spoke the last words with a bit of a cheer in his tone, walking away from the two.

Hiroki turned to see Akihiko meet up with Takahiro, giving him that smile of his he never even shows himself. His vision then went to Nowaki, anger and sadness in his eyes he watched Nowaki's expression change from that fake smile into a hateful stare. This only caused his blood to boil, now realizing what kind of game Nowaki was trying to play. He tore his arm away from Nowaki's hand, too angry for words.

"What's wrong, Hiro-san?" Nowaki asked curiously, looking down at Hiroki with confusion.

"What do you mean 'What's wrong', you know how I feel about Akihiko and then you had to go and say that! That's just looking for a misunderstanding!" Hiroki yelled, not caring who heard him.

Nowaki felt an anger start to overshadow the pain, now angry that Hiroki was actually yelling at him for trying to make him happy and to forget his one-sided love. "Why do you worry about him so much?" He practically whispered these words, starting to bow his head downwards as he tried to hide his hurt.

"Because, I love him." Hiroki spoke in a lower tone, now trying to counterpart Nowaki's own voice.

Nowaki didn't have time to re-think his choice of words, his hands balling into fists as he grit his teeth. "Then, why don't you just tell him?" He asked seriously, nearly hissing these words.

"Don't be stupid, you know that as well as I do." Hiroki answered, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked around, refusing to be met with the top of Nowaki's head. "If he ever rejected me, I don't know what I would do." He whispered.

"If you're so scared…then doesn't that mean you already know he doesn't love you?"

Hiroki's eyes widened at these words, looking at Nowaki who continued to stare at his feet. His eyebrows furrowed as his lower lip trembled, speechless once again. It was almost as though his arm moved on its own as his hand struck Nowaki's cheek harshly.

"Y-Y-You don't know anything!" Was all Hiroki could think to say, Nowaki's words now buzzing in his head as he felt the truth crashing down onto him. Not wanting to be in the situation for much longer, he turned on his heels and began to run out of the building.

Nowaki held his cheek, frowning as he knew how much his words hurt Hiroki.

* * *

Hiroki slammed the door behind him, looking around in the empty apartment as he felt the tears that had been trying to breach his eyes finally fall freely. He leaned against the door and sunk downwards, cursing himself through breaths about how weak he was. It had been a long time since he felt this way, and he knew it was all because of the person he had been with earlier today.

"Fucking idiot." He whispered to himself, wiping tears from his eyes as he sat down. As he looked around the room, he paused and stared off into space as his eyes met with the bookshelf across the room. Even from the doorway, the spine of the book was all too familiar.

_'…I…I have to do something about this.' _Hiroki thought, standing up as he sniffled and tried to dry his eyes. Reaching into his pocket he grabbed hold of his phone and took it out, dialing Akihiko's number into his phone.

The other end rang for what felt like hours, Hiroki's anticipation causing his heart rate to skyrocket as he waited. It continued to ring, then the voicemail picked up and the automated woman's voice began to speak. Hiroki calmed down slightly, feeling much better that he was now able to at least leave a message even if he knew the reason why Akihiko hadn't picked up was because of Takahiro,

"Hey, Akihiko. I need to talk to you, do you mind coming over later? Well, if you get this message, then just come over." He said, trying to sound as normal as possible to hide the fact that he had been crying moments ago. After leaving the message, he sighed and closed his eyes.

_'Please come.'_

_

* * *

_

Hiroki sat on the couch, flipping uninterestedly through a magazine that had been sitting on his coffee table while he waited. He had been hoping that Akihiko would come earlier, and the anxiety was killing him.

_'Maybe he might not come at all…no, he's probably just busy. Or he didn't get the message.' _Hiroki reassured himself, shaking his head at the thought that Akihiko decided not to come at all. He then decided to stand and walk around a bit, trying to figure out what he was going to say to the man when he arrived.

'_I just need to ask him…' _He thought, pacing the floor until he heard the chiming of the doorbell ring in his ears. He nearly ran for the door, grabbing hold of the knob and throwing it open as he was met with his love standing before him with the a neutral expression.

"Oh, hello." Hiroki spoke simply, gesturing for Akihiko to come in which he did slowly. Hiroki tried to put on a smile, attempting to mimic the same that Takahiro always had. He was able to muster a small curl of the ends of his lips as he faced Akihiko who continued to hold his stoic expression.

"I'm sorry; I just got your message earlier." Akihiko spoke, pain riddled in his tone. Hiroki could detect it, the small curl disappearing as he frowned upon hearing the man speak.

"Is there something wrong?" Hiroki spoke, sounding concerned.

"Yes actually…It's just that, Takahiro is getting so serious with Manami, I don't understand what it is about her that he likes so much." Akihiko spoke, pain and hatred pouring out with every word.

Hiroki couldn't help but feel ecstatic at the idea that Takahiro was even farther out of Akihiko's reach than before, the happiness almost apparent on his face before he realized how much he wanted to smile and began to stop himself as he spoke with feigned sadness. "I'm sorry, Akihiko. If he's getting so serious with her, then why don't you just give up on him?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest while he spoke.

"That's easier said than done, Hiroki." Akihiko spoke, annoyed that his friend wasn't helping him in the least but instead telling him to just give up so easily.

Hiroki felt the lump form in his throat as he tried to utter the next few words, licking his lips as though the feeling of non-chapped lips would help him to speak. "I know an easy way, to forget that is." He said softly, walking slowly towards Akihiko as he said this.

Akihiko heard him say this, his eyes widening as he turned around to face his childhood friend who was advancing. "How do you propose I do that?" he asked, almost desperate to quit this addiction of his before he was hurt.

Hiroki stood next to Akihiko, staring at him while Akihiko returned the gaze. His hands shakily went to Akihiko's, grabbing it softly while he leaned upwards towards the others lips.

"This." He whispered, his lips pressing onto Akihiko's while Akihiko continued to stare at him.

_'He…What is this? I can't…I won't.' _Akihiko thought, lightly cupping Hiroki's face before pulling him away slowly. "Hiroki…" He spoke, watching Hiroki's longing expression as well as his flushed cheeks.

Hiroki grabbed onto Akihiko, wrapping his arms around the man and burying his face into the man's chest. "Akihiko, I love you. I've loved you, for a very…very long time."

"I'm sorry, Hiroki." Akihiko continued, his hands going into Hiroki's hair as he stroked it softly. "I don't want to hurt you, not like this." He felt Hiroki jump against him, the grip his arms had around his body now loosening.

Hiroki weakened at hearing these words, the feeling of Akihiko's cold hands in his hair ghosted along his scalp as he began to sink to the ground. He didn't want to look up at Akihiko, knowing that the man was now looking at him with what could only be described as pity.

"Too kind, you're just too fucking kind!" Hiroki half yelled, half rasped, his hands going to his knees as he gripped his pants tightly. He didn't want to know that Nowaki was right, nor did he want to think about what Akihiko just said to him. He couldn't help but feel pure anger, anger at the world, as well as at himself.

Akihiko watched as his friend slowly fell to pieces in front of him, feeling terrible for doing such a thing to him though he knew that it wasn't something he could do. They were friends, always had been and always would be. Nothing would change that, and Akihiko didn't have any intentions of changing it.

"I'm sorry." He spoke one last time before walking around the man, closing the door behind him.

Hiroki bit into his lip, blood dripping down his chin as he tried to control the mixed emotions and the thoughts running through his head.

* * *

Hiroki was out walking, he didn't know where and he didn't really care why, he just knew he needed to be somewhere. The air was stuffy, indicating that it was to rain soon. The warm air around him did nothing to stop his heart from feeling like it just turned into a large block of ice, colder than even Akihiko's hands.

The streetlights illuminated the sidewalks below, Hiroki listening to the sound of his own footsteps and being oblivious to the others. Small cars would drive by periodically, Hiroki watched them with detachment. He walked over to one of the lights, leaning against the pole as he heard one drop of water hit the sidewalk, than another. The shower had begun.

_'Oh great, now it's raining.' _He thought, the voice in his head speaking in a nearly monotone voice as he looked around. Deciding that it was safe to cross the street, he took a step off of the curb and began to walk. A few cars would stop as he started to pass, not sure as to why he didn't use a crosswalk while others honked at him and quickly swerved around as to miss him. He didn't care at the moment; he just wanted to clear his mind. He was brought back to reality quickly as a familiar voice called out to him.

"Hiroki! Hiroki!" He turned around to see his black haired colleague waving at him, parked on the other side of the street and gesturing for him to get inside. When Hiroki passed him, he heard the sound of the car door open and footsteps following behind.

"Hiroki! What are you doing out here? It's raining, and you don't even have an umbrella. Man, you must be soaked." Miyagi began to ramble on, taking Hiroki's hand and continuing to talk without realizing the other wasn't listening in the least.

The two of them got into the car, Hiroki sitting silently in the passenger's seat while Miyagi sat in the driver's seat. The car was on, as well as the air conditioner to dry off with. Miyagi took a cigarette from his pocket, taking out a lighter to set it aflame before he heard a raspy voice speak.

"Please, don't." he said, leaning against the car door and wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he shook.

Miyagi could tell something was wrong, putting the cigarette and lighter away he reached over to grab the brunette, noting that there was no resistance whatsoever. "What's wrong?"

"Everything." Hiroki spoke simply, going quiet again as his head leaned into Miyagi's chest.

Miyagi decided not to ask anymore than that, deciding that his friend needed him merely as a comfort pillow more than a pep-talker right now.

He heard the sounds of uneven breaths coming from Hiroki, and warm water start to pool onto his chest as he held him.

"Shh…It'll be okay." Miyagi spoke soothingly.

**Sorry, I know. I've made Hiroki cry a LOT in this fanfiction…I don't know why. I guess I just feel like he would show his emotions more if he ever had the chance, and he's cried in front of Miyagi before so it's okay. And Nowaki, which are the only two people. And I'm sure he's cried alone due to Akihiko before they got together. So it's okay. I know, I ruined a perfectly good, cute moment with more angst. I'm sorry. XD**


	12. Chapter 12

**So, here goes the second update of my 4 update promise. :D So far, the other two updates are going to my other side story since I put this one off for so long. Oh a side note, yesterday I saw Tangled. It was a very cute movie; I think anyone would enjoy it really. Just a recommendation. :)  
**

Miyagi drove; his hands on the wheel and his eyes watching the skies as the rain fell down onto his car. He couldn't help but smile to himself, remembering little tales his mother used to tell him when she would say that when angels are crying then it would rain. He looked over at Hiroki, who was now leaning against the window and sleeping quietly. As they drove underneath streetlights, Hiroki's face would come into view and his rosy, tear stained cheeks became all too apparent.

_'Even the angels are crying with you, Hiroki.' _Miyagi thought, his eyes switching back and forth between Hiroki and the road. He heard the sounds of the other stirring in the seat, groaning softly as he moved before going back to curling up against the car door. Miyagi merely smiled, glad that his friend had some moment of peace. He listened intently to Hiroki's even breathing, turning into the man's apartment complex.

He parked the car, pausing to watch the water slide down the front windshield and be swept away by the wipers before turning the machine off. He stepped from the car and walked around it, opening the passenger side door and picking the sleeping man up bridal style in his arms. He began to walk towards the building, the water falling onto the two of them.

Hiroki stirred in Miyagi's arms as the water fell onto him, Miyagi stopping underneath a dry area to see if the sleeping man would awaken. Hiroki instead groaned softly to himself, nuzzling into Miyagi's chest while muttering in his sleep.

"Nowaki…I'm…sorry." He whispered in his sleep, grabbing onto Miyagi's shirt. Miyagi frowned at the sight, circling an arm around so that Hiroki's head would lie in the crook of his elbow. As he walked up the stairs, he sighed to himself at hearing Hiroki's sleep talk.

_'I'm sorry too, Hiroki.'_

_

* * *

_

Nowaki sat on the bar stool, his head in his hands as he thought about Hiroki's face at the aquarium. He couldn't believe his behavior, and even thinking about it made him regret it all the more.

'_Why did I act like that? I know I did it for a good reason, since I just don't want to see him get hurt, yet I ended up hurting him…' _He thought, mentally berating himself for his actions while he signaled to the bartender to bring him another low alcohol and fruity drink. _'It wouldn't hurt to call him' _He thought, picking up his phone and dialing Hiroki's number slowly. He watched as the screen changed to the calling, the seconds passing as it rang.

_'Please pick up, Hiro-san…please.' _He thought, holding the phone to his ear and clutching it while he closed his eyes to wait. He then heard the robotic voice of the answering machine pick up. He breathed out the breath he had been holding for what felt like hours. _'I knew it.' _He thought, picking up the drink that had been set on the counter earlier and taking a few sips. _'But, what if he's not picking up because something's wrong?' _He thought, new ideas suddenly forming in his mind while he nearly dropped the drink in his hands because of it.

'_Oh no, no, no. He wouldn't.' _Nowaki thought as he stood from the stool and rummaged through his pocket clumsily. Throwing the money on the counter he nearly tripped over himself as he ran to the train station.

* * *

Miyagi sat on the couch, staring at the television blankly while he ran his hands through the brunettes hair. Hiroki's head laid in Miyagi's lap, his body curled up underneath a blanket as he slept soundly. Miyagi tried to focus on the television, though he was more worried about how he had to get Hiroki out of his wet clothing and into the pajamas he currently wore. A slight blush flushed his cheeks as he covered his mouth, trying to forget the sight of Hiroki's naked torso.

'_I would've changed his underwear but…that would be too weird. Hopefully he doesn't get a cold.' _He thought, ruffling Hiroki's hair and watching as he groaned once more and rolled over in his sleep, his face now inches away from Miyagi's groin. Miyagi jumped back in his seat, making a small noise as he reached down to turn Hiroki's head back around.

He paused as he heard the doorbell go off, picking up Hiroki's head from his lap softly and putting him down on the couch before standing up and going to the door. He looked through the small hole, and then scowled as he opened the door to see the wet therapist standing at the door. Miyagi noticed how the mans eyes were widened as though he were surprised to see him, his breath labored as he stared back at him.

"Yes?" Miyagi asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the doorframe.

Nowaki continued to breathe and stare at him, as though his mind were trying to register what was going on before he gasped. "Oh! I, Um, came to see Hiro-san." Nowaki sputtered, trying to look past Miyagi.

"He's sleeping." Miyagi stated, his eyes staring Nowaki down. "Wait a second," he began, his eyebrows furrowing as he continued to look at the man in front of him. "Aren't you doctor Kusama?" He asked.

"I am, which is why I need to talk to Hiroki! Is he in? Please, just-" Nowaki began, speaking quickly as he still made attempts to look past the middle aged professor.

"How did you find out where he lives?" Miyagi asked, refusing to listen to Nowaki's pleas to see his sleeping colleague.

"I found it through his records, at my office. But, I think there's something wrong with him. And I'm the only one who can help!"

Miyagi clenched his fist, feeling his anger rise at seeing Nowaki as he listened to his testimony. _'I'm the only one who can help he says!' _He thought, picking his arm up and striking Nowaki with his fist. He looked down at his bruised hand, the anger starting to evaporate as he looked down at Nowaki who held his cheek in amazement.

"You're the only one who can help?" Miyagi asked, his tone sounding mocking. "You're the reason why he's like this! The reason why he was in the hospital and the reason why he was out walking in the middle of the rain nearly getting hit by cars! You're not doing your job!" He glared at Nowaki, who refused to meet his angry gaze and instead stared off to the side while he continued to hold his cheek.

Nowaki merely sat in silence, knowing he had no argument against the harsh words of Miyagi. He stared down at his feet, fidgeting uncomfortably. He stopped once he heard the sleepy voice of his patient behind Miyagi.

"Miyagi, what's going on?" Hiroki asked, rubbing his eyes softly and beginning to walk towards the door as he saw Miyagi flinch.

Miyagi turned around to see Hiroki, slamming the door behind him as he laughed nervously. "Ah, Kamijo! Don't worry, nothing's wrong. I was just out for a smoke." He said, waving his hands around as he continued to laugh.

"I thought I saw someone out there." Hiroki said, trying to get past Miyagi to the door, to which Miyagi grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. Hiroki's eyes widened as he was pressed into Miyagi's chest, his mind leaving the curiosity that was trying to figure out what was behind that door.

"Why don't you go take a shower, we were stuck in the rain and I tried to change you the most I could but…you're still kind of wet." He said, referring to the wet article of clothing hidden underneath his pajamas. He felt the push against his torso as Hiroki flung himself away, trying to hide the small blush on his cheeks as he thought about how Miyagi saw his body. Miyagi merely walked over to him and mussed his hair. "I'll make something to eat." He said with a smile, Hiroki nodding slowly and walking towards the bedroom.

Miyagi watched him walk, standing in the same spot until he heard the door close behind Hiroki. He turned his attention back to the doorway, opening it to see Nowaki standing up and leaning against the railing. He walked out of the house, closing the door behind himself before he spoke. "It would be best if you would go." Miyagi suggested, taking a pair of keys from his pocket as he contemplated returning to his car for a cigarette.

Nowaki sighed, knowing that it would be the best choice to make. He removed himself from the railing, frowning as he started his journey towards the train station.

Miyagi watched him, thinking back to what Hiroki said while he held him in his arms. _'I can't chase him away.' _He thought, his hand going to his face as he covered his eyes. "Hey." He said, moving his hand as he saw Nowaki turn to look at him. "…I'll have him call you."

A soft smile crossed Nowaki's lips as he heard this, laughing a bit as he replied. "Yes…Yes thank you." He said, going back as he started to walk to the train station.

'_Thank you.' _

**So, this is kind of a transition chapter. I'm sorry for not updating fast enough, and the break ends tomorrow so it is my laziness that caused this. Happy new year all! :D There will be talk about the rejection and whatnot in the next chapter. Until then! **


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello everyone! I'm back! Or at least I'm trying to come back. So, a small little summary of what has been going on with me for the last couple of months. School, work, school, work, summer, work…and now Vacation in Florida. So there. Haha. But, I'm going to try and get my fanfiction mojo going again so that I may try to satisfy all of those who have been dying for a new chapter cause you're just that dedicated. (which, for that, I thank you very much.) It may sound kind of rusty but lets see if we can't get it back on track.**

The large fingers of the professors slowly ran through the younger mans hair, taking in each strand and allowing it to pass over his fingertips. His eyes ran up and down the gentle features of the man who lay in the bed, his skin warm and rosy from the hot water that caressed his body only moments ago. He was now sleeping soundly, his hands clutching the blanket and his legs curled around the sheets.

_'It looked like all he needed was a good shower; he didn't even wait to eat.' _Miyagi thought, his eyes shifting towards the now cold Curry that sat on the bedside table. _'I wanted to see him get angry at me for giving him spicy foods too. Since I know he's not very fond of them.' _He couldn't help but laugh at this thought, imagining the berating he would get if Hiroki knew the mischievous plans he had for him. His hands still sat on Hiroki's scalp, moving back and forth in a rhythmic motion.

"Mmmm…" Hiroki moaned, rolling over to reveal a large wet spot on the pillow. Miyagi frowned once he saw this, thinking of the consequences that came with falling asleep with wet hair.

"The least you could've done was dried your hair of, Kamijou." Miyagi scolded, knowing full well the man couldn't hear him. He stood up, heading to the restroom to go get a towel for the wet man when he heard another moan escape Hiroki's lips. _'The man isn't much of a sound sleeper now is he?' _He thought sarcastically.

"Mmmnn...Don't, don't go." Hiroki muttered, his hand now reaching out towards the side of the bed where Miyagi lay, his fingers curling as to gesture the man back to the bed.

"Well, it isn't like I'm going to be gone for long." Miyagi said to himself, smiling at Hiroki's sleep talk. "I'm just going to the restroom." He said as though he were talking to a fully conscious person. He strolled along into the restroom, chewing on his lip as he tried to bite back the urge to smoke until he was able to get back outside. Opening the cabinet, he searched for the nearest towel he could find, and then closed the door quietly as not to disturb his sleeping colleague.

Walking back, he heard more mutters and mumbles coming from Hiroki, which made him pause for a moment just to hear all of the sleep induced things he would say.

"Mmm…"

Miyagi sighed, a false alarm as he'd hoped to get a glimpse into Hiroki's dreams. He took the towel and covered his hand with it, taking in Hiroki's head and cradling it in his hand while he began to use the towel to soak up the excess water that had contained itself into Hiroki's copper locks. Hiroki nuzzled softly against the newfound touch, which made Miyagi smile despite his persistence in seeing Hiroki as nothing more than a serious guy who didn't have even a shred of weakness.

_'At least he's docile when he's calm.' _He continued to try to dry Hiroki's hair, the hair going from a few soaked lumps to a large moist cloud. Miyagi tried to contain all of his laughter as he thought of Pomeranians that were strangely close to Hiroki's hairstyle. As his hand slipped away, a small whimper escaped Hiroki's throat as he started to nuzzle into the towel and the pillow.

"No…waki."

_'And even after all of this time…he's still thinking about you. He must be more attached to you than I thought…or possibly even you thought.' _Miyagi tiptoed away from the bed, exiting the room as he gave one final look back at the sleeping Hiroki.

"Goodnight, you little devil."

* * *

Hiroki sat in front of his computer, his fingers tapping away furiously at the keys as his eyes remained focused on the screen. His hand deterred away for a moment, grabbing at the coffee cup and bringing it to his lips. He tilted the cup to allow the brown liquid in, only to pull away quickly and let out a small yelp as he felt the burn attack his tongue. He growled at the coffee, stopping abruptly as he realized how stupid it was to get upset with a perfectly good cup of Joe. Instead, he just laid the cup back down and continued on with his work, now completely frustrated that his tongue held onto that sting.

He jumped as he heard loud thumping noises coming from the doorway, a silhouette of Miyagi with stacks of scrolls could be seen through the window. Hiroki walked towards it, opening the door slowly before an expression of mere disbelief spread across his face. There were stacks of 7 scrolls under each arm, those of which Miyagi seemed to be holding onto for dear life.

"What…are those?" Hiroki asked, his expression going to confusion as he wondered why Miyagi had so many scrolls in the first place.

"Well, Obviously they're scrolls my dear Kamijou-kun." Miyagi cooed, giving a big grin as he nearly skipped into the room.

Hiroki couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows, even more than usual. "…I can see that, Miyagi." He started, clenching his fists slightly as to avoid crossing his arms, something he did especially when he was irritated. "What I meant was, what's written on them?"

"Words." Miyagi replied coyly, his lips quivering as he tried to maintain his poker face as long as possible.  
Hiroki's eyes narrowed, nearly glaring at the man as he became fed up with the man's foolishness. He reached for a book on the shelf, throwing it swiftly at the back of Miyagi's head. Before Miyagi could react, he tossed another, nearly causing him to lose his balance. One by one the books flew at Miyagi, so much that he had to actually duck for cover.

"You smartass! You know exactly what I meant! Agh! Doing these things to annoy me! Well, how does that spine feel? Not so good, huh?" Hiroki yelled, reaching back for another book before he realized that he had thrown them all. The shelf sat empty, which made Hiroki's annoyance rise as he remembered he was the one that was going to have to replace all of them.

Miyagi's roaring laughter could be heard from behind the desk, Hiroki turning around to see him red in the face as he held his temple. "Ahh, still got such an arm I see." He teased.

"Well, of course. I still have to uphold some of my strength for those lazy ones." Hiroki said with a smirk, referring back to his students that so graciously got him his nickname in the first place. "Besides, you deserved it. You annoying old man."

"You know you don't mean that." Miyagi whined, shuffling over to Hiroki's side of the room with open arms, only to be met with a hand to the face. His arms flung around Hiroki, causing him to put both hands on the mans face and push with all of his might.

"Ah! Miyagi, get off! I'll file for Sexual Harassment!" He threatened, hoping it would deter him enough so that he could get away. But instead, Miyagi seemed to be trying to grab on even harder. The two of them stood in the awkward position, Hiroki still pushing away while Miyagi tried to wrestle him to the ground. The two were so busy fighting they couldn't hear the sounds of the footsteps coming towards the door.

The click that came after the turning of the doorknob was all they heard, both turning to see a teenage boy looking back at them. His large grey eyes were opened so wide he looked as though he were a deer in headlights, his small hands brushing the sandy brown hair out of his face while he just stared at the two.

Miyagi's surprised expression and lack of force allowed Hiroki to push him off, giving a huff as he straightened his shirt. "And as I was saying Miyagi, No PDA in the office!" Hiroki snapped, tightening his tie.

Miyagi looked back at the teen standing in the doorway, still trying to collect his thoughts before the worst was to happen.

"You…You cheater! Liar! I thought you were doing work here, but instead I see you're just fooling around with your stupid secretary!" The boy shrieked, giving a quick glare to Hiroki before slamming the door behind him.

Hiroki didn't know what to say, or what to do for that matter. His mouth hung open as he thought about the title he was just given by a boy he'd never even met. _'Secretary? The nerve of kids these days! I'm number one in the literature dept for God's sake! He could at least show some respect!'_

"I'm sorry about that, Kamijou." Miyagi said, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "He's a little…outrageous."

"Who the heck was that kid anyways?"

"Just a friend of mine, don't worry about it. He's just a bit protective of me." Miyagi waved Hiroki's words off, thinking of something to change the subject a bit.

"So…have you talked to Kusama-kun?" Miyagi asked, glancing over at Hiroki who jumped at the name. _'Obviously he's still a bit uncomfortable with it.'_He thought, rubbing his chin as he examined Hiroki's expressions.

"Why do you ask?" Hiroki said, now turning away as to not meet eye to eye with Miyagi.

"Just curious, I mean, it seems like your mind is wrapped around him quite a bit still." Miyagi retorted, seeing if he couldn't draw out what was on Hiroki's mind the night before.

"Not even!" Hiroki bluffed, crossing his arms as to get his point across. "I don't want anything to do with that guy. Ugh, the jerk." He added, almost as though he were trying to prove something to himself more than Miyagi.

"Then why were you mumbling his name in your sleep?"

Hiroki froze, his mind nearly going numb upon hearing such a fact. "What?" He muttered, hoping that Miyagi was just playing a silly joke on him. "Miyagi, don't play tricks, you know I hate that."

"I'm serious, Hiroki." He tried using his first name, almost feeling goose bumps crawling up his arm as it rolled off his tongue. He wasn't used to speaking so seriously to Hiroki, and it almost made him feel bad once he saw Hiroki's tense shoulders loosen.

_'I…I said his name? Was I really thinking of him that much? No, Hiroki, pull it together! You can't go getting all weak over something silly like that.' _Hiroki turned on his heels to face Miyagi who was still staring him down. "Don't think using my first name is going to scare me at all! Besides, I was probably having a dream about punching a guy like that in the face."

"Or maybe you need him more than you think you do." Miyagi said, pulling the cigarettes from his pocket as he felt the urge rising as the tension grew in the room.

Hiroki still couldn't meet Miyagi's gaze, knowing that there was so much truth behind his words that it hurt. The room filled with silence, the scent of a freshly burning cigarette made its way through the room.

"listen, I need to go tend to my little…partner in crime over there, but, You should really give him a call." Miyagi insisted, picking himself up as to avoid any more awkward silence and quickly exiting from the room.

Hiroki waited until the door closed, leaning backwards against the bookshelf and sliding downwards until his bottom met the floor. 

'How do I even face him? With the way I ran out of there, I'm not surprised if he thinks I want nothing to do with him.'

He buried his face into his hands, rubbing his eyes as he tried to think of what he could say.

* * *

Nowaki sat in his office, waiting for his next appointment to come through. He couldn't help but be overcome with his own amount of stress, staring at his phone screen as though he expected it to speak to him.

_'Will he ever call, should I call him? No, Miyagi said he would. I have to wait it out!' _Nowaki was almost at a battle of wits with himself, using all self control to make sure he wouldn't fall victim to the temptation.

He heard the door open, nearly dropping his phone in surprise as he tried to regain composure and look as serious and business like as he could. "Er, hello! Welcome. Take a seat." He said, gesturing for the person to come sit down.

"No, I'm fine thank you." The other spoke quietly, still standing in the doorway.

Nowaki stared at the other, waiting to see what their next move would be. "Well, at least close the door behind you, and allow me to open the curtains, at least so you can see."

The other said nothing, the light that came from behind slowing dissipating as it closed.

The light from the outdoors flooded the room, making the two squint a bit as it hit. "Ahh, much better I say."Nowaki spoke cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood. "Now then, lets get started, shall we?"

Before he could even walk back to his chair, he felt a hand wrap around his arm. The grip was light, but enough to make him stop in place to see what was going on.

"Pardon me, but I have to at least get back to my seat so I have a proper place to sit down and write." He laughed sheepishly. He turned around to try and pry the other off of him, feeling the unusual warmth of the others hand as they met.

_'These hands are so warm…reminds me of Hiroki.'_

"I'm sorry if this comes out a bit strange, but your hands remind me of another patient of mine. His hands were always so hot, perhaps you two share some blood along the line." He joked, still holding onto the hand as it was revealed in the light. He allowed himself to examine it for a moment, noticing how much smaller it appeared in comparison to his own.

"They're small too...Just like his. That's just uncanny." A bit of surprise laced in his tone.

"Jeez, they're not that small!" the other hissed, his hand jerking away from Nowaki. "Besides, your hands are too cold anyways."

_'They sound alike too! Why, if I didn't know any better…' _He looked up at the face of the stranger in his room, allowing himself to get a good look. "Hiroki?" He questioned.

Hiroki had been looking at the floor the entire time, trying not to show his flustered expression as well as his now bright red cheeks to Nowaki. He shook his head, thinking quickly for an excuse.

"I just came down here because I forgot something. My erm…my pen! Yes, yes, that's it." He said, still looking down at the floor while he walked past, scanning the floor to see if he couldn't locate one hiding in the carpet.

"Wait, Hiroki!" Nowaki called after him, a moment too late. A loud thump could be heard as Hiroki's head met with the wall, a small groan escaping his lips before he wobbled and fell sideways onto the floor.

"Are you alright?" Nowaki asked, running over to the professor lying on the floor. Hiroki held his forehead, still groaning in pain as the pounding in his temples began. "I'll go get you an ice pack, don't move." Nowaki laid him back down carefully onto the floor.

_'Stop acting like you care so much…idiot.' _

**So, I tried to see if I couldn't get this train back on the tracks. Let me know if I did a good job…No, seriously. xD Ah, it feels good to try and get back into the writing game though. I do realize that there's no real background/imagery description here, and I will get more of that back in. I promise!**


End file.
